Flush goes the Pop

I'm not sure if I should be proud or a tad bit disturbed???

Wyatt's fish died yesterday. He didn't cry. He wasn't the least bit upset, in fact he laughed. It wasn't like Serial Killer laugh, but a laugh none the less.

So did I prepare my child well for the very possible fish death? Or should I be worried at his lack of emotion? This is the child that last summer was laughing as he stomped a baby frog to death in front of a very upset screaming little girl who thought it was her baby.

But he is also the boy who cries about everything.  I mean I can't get this kid to not be whiny. My plate is blue, whaaaa.... Lucy is looking at me whaaa.... The wind blew on me whaaaa... So him NOT crying about the fish death, well it was a nice change until I started really thinking about his reaction.

The little fish, Pop, wasn't a floater nope he was a sinker, somewhat pinched against the edge of the bowl a a shell decoration. This was the only thing that somewhat upset him- having to reach his hand in the dirty water to get the shells out.

We dumped Pop into the toilet, ya know the proper fish send off, swirl, swirl, flush! Bye-Bye Pop, hahaha...

As soon as Pop was out of sight, well actual even before he was, what was on Wyatt's mind? "Don't forget to go buy me a new fish tomorrow!"

Hmmmm...a new fish.... this is a chance to bribe him to do something.... my options are endless but I must pick just the right thing....

Will the Defendant Please Rise

"Mom, where is my Tech Deck."
"Gone."
"What?!! Where? Why?"

Guilt, I am feeling mommy guilt. The kids are starting to notice that toys are missing. I was really really hoping they just had so much they'd forgotten what all they had. Nope, not Levi at least. Wyatt, well he will remember months from now and then NEVER forget. He is so my child, he holds a grudge. (note to self, don't cross Becky)

Now I feel like I have done to my children what my parents did to me, ya know the whole scarred me for life by getting rid of all my toys one day thing. But all parents have to do something scarring right? Maybe I should just let this one go and mark it as my "sent my kids to therapy for life" moment?

I really, really, really- did I say really?- don't want any more toys brought back in. I've racked my brain trying to think about what I've seen them play with on a regular basis and not much comes to mind other then what I've kept and video games. I believe they just think they are missing a toy but they don't really want it- just like the idea of having it. But what if I am wrong and I have really taken away something of value to them? You'd think they would have noticed right off the bat right?


I've been trying to come up with a solution. How do I make them feel like they have some say in what they get rid of but really they don't.... hmmmm, manipulating the tiny humans, it can't be that hard can it? I've thought about bribery- if you let these toys go and don't get upset I'll buy you this video game you want, we will make a family trip to Splash Village, ya know pull out the good stuff.... Part of me is very against that though- seems like rewarding them for being slobs? Here get your room so messy I have to come in and clean it for you, then YOU get a reward. Ah, my mind wanders through so many scenarios.

I think I have come up with a solution. Tomorrow I will tell the children my plan and we will see if it works great or blows up in my face. The master plan- I will ask them if there is any one toy that is gone that they would really like back. Then they have to write me a letter telling me which toy, why they want it back, and how they will store it. They will have to locate a free space and come up with a plan- should it be in a tub, can it sit on the shelf without a container, etc... Hopefully this way they are really thinking about what toy it is they want and "fighting" for it. Bonus, I get some writing and math work in there too!

Seems like a good plan to me, I mean how could it not be? Genius me came up with it!

I think perhaps we will even have a little family court and decide if the plan and reason to keep desired toy is justified. Your toy is currently locked up for disorderly conduct. Can you defend it? Or am I just creating little lawyers who can win arguments as well as their mama? Ah well, they won't reach my level anytime soon- and frankly learning just how to argue has served me well in life- so yep, another skill they need.

One Nibble at a Time!

May 21- 10 weeks and one day after surgery Brad can again open his mouth, well kinda....

We went to Ann Arbor for a follow up appt. At the last one they told us they would either take everything off, leave it how it is, or put looser bands during this visit. We were hopeful but also realistic- Dr. Mayo was not sounding promising.

Wrinkled scrubs intern spoke with us first. He was all set to put looser bands on but in came Dr. Mayo- No, no leave him be it isn't 10 weeks yet. Oh but sorry it is- I had to jump in there for my baby and talk dates. When it was agreed we were past 10 weeks Dr. Mayo agreed! YAY for fighting dates!!!

When the bands came off, I wasn't sure what to expect from Brad. I was thinking either his mouth was just going to fall open because everything was stretched and he couldn't control it or everything would be "locked" shut. I was leaning significantly  towards the latter which was correct.

He tried and tried but he could only open a few centimeters. He could barely stick his tongue out. But it is out- no more asking other people to lick envelopes for him! Brad said he felt like his mouth was open wide but he just couldn't get it any further.

So now he has 2 bands in the back on each side and 2 for the front only to be worn at night. Well he can leave them on during the day but he doesn't have to.

Food-oh wonderful food, Brad has missed you horribly. Everyone has been asking what he will eat when he can open his mouth- they all had high hopes for him. Apparently they forgot about the jaw sawing part and focused only on the wiring shut. Pain people, he is going to be in pain! Cheeseburgers, Subs, pizza, Chinese....so not happening on day one.

We just so happen to have no food in the house because our fridge is on the fritz. So I told Brad he should stop at the grocery store and we will wander around looking for something we think he can eat. Brad is apparently stuck in toddler world because for some reason he is thinking PB and J is the best bet. Really? PB? and a sandwich? No way! He is thinking he can nibble it like a little mouse. I'm thinking he needs something cut up into teeny tiny little pieces and then just push those in, roll them around for flavor , and swallow. There will be no tearing/nibbling or chewing today. I'm certain of it. But Brad is not giving up on his food quest. He wants real food!

I mention perhaps a McD cheeseburger- meat only cut into teeny pieces. Alright, maybe McD's doesn't qualify as real food but whatever! A quick trip to McD's then we are on our way to his parents house to pick up our son. I try to cut the burger but Brad is sure he can bite it. Alright, just so you are grasping what I am seeing open your mouth just wide enough to get the tip of your tongue out- now do you think you can bite a burger successfully? Sorry honey but as hard as you try it isn't going to happen!

He did get a little nibble of bun- a nibble, I think a mouse could have taken a bigger bite!

Discouraged he gives up. I make him try my way- an itty bitty piece of burger. His dad was cracking up at me cutting this tiny chunk for him but come on we all know babies don't just jump right to solid foods, nope they step up gradually 1's to 2's to 3's and on to table food. Brad just got done with 1's he needs to work on 2's before he gets to table food!

He got the little nibble in but had trouble swallowing it. So he then decided to move on to fries. He barely fit a fry in but then had to try to bite a section off... not working. So Brad's dad got to enjoy a cheeseburger and fries.

Brad was discouraged. I tried to tell him that he was just trying too hard of foods but I didn't have a chance to experiment for him becasue he was soon off to camp with our oldest.  Yep, Brad's first few days of maybe being able to eat and he is stuck with camp food. We are guessing that won't work so he was sent off with soup and a blender just in case.

To my surprise the next morning while at camp Brad ate scrambled eggs and oatmeal (foods I had recommended- man I am ALWAYS right!) At lunch he somehow ate a sub. He ripped it up and shoved it in little piece by little piece. I'm not sure on the definition of sub, frankly I'm not believing it- I need  to see a photo!

Sunday when they returned we went out for lunch- well breakfast for lunch- Big Boy Breakfast Buffet. It was so nice to go out not worrying about if they have a soup that will blend well, if they have a blender, etc... Eating with Brad did take a L-O-N-G time. I think he ate for about 30 mins after the rest of us finished but I didn't mind- just so excited for him! He stuck with safe foods- scrambled eggs, soft potatoes, a biscuit... One downside to eating real food- Brad still has no feeling in his lower lip- so I do have to tell him occasionally when he has " a little egg on his face" ya know when it is actually egg and not just me being right again, as always...

By Sunday evening I could tell he was opening his mouth a bit further. It isn't that much more but every millimeter counts! His jaw is a little sore from finally being moved but he just has to work through that. Open, shut, open shut... can't you see him doing these exercises at his desk? Physical therapy can be help at a buffet! I personally think that is the perfect location- I'm sure Brad does too. Oh wait! I want him to keep those 30 some pounds off.

Anyways, he is still eating soups because it is just easier on his jaws and is much less of a mess then ripping things and shoving them in, but they don't have to be blended anymore. He is also continues to work on solid foods because frankly- wouldn't you after 10 weeks of liquids only.

I found some motivation- Boys Room CHECK!

Last night both boys were gone. I always seem to have the desire to go through their stuff at night but problem- they are in there sleeping. So since it was such a disaster and no one was here I dove in. It took me about 4 hours total. Three last night and one this morning.

I'm so proud I'm just going to show before and after pic (as if you could forget those horrid before pics from last night!) and then I'll share my plan of attack.

I got rid of a TON of toys from the closet. I think you can tell- but man, it is still full!

TADA!

Here is the pile of toys I took out. Plus I filled to trash bags of trash. Now hopefully the kids won't miss them and whine to me!

I walked into the room and wasn't sure where to start. I mean there is just so much. Now a smart person would have picked the books since they were everywhere and blocking the door but no not me, I went right for the closet. Apparently breaking my ankle sounded like a great plan. 

Okay, so I am in the closet but what do I do?! I decided I was going to take out the toys I knew I wanted to keep and stack them on one of the boys beds. So out came Star Wars, Legos, Batman, and Imaginext. But now a problem- Levi has 2 tubs of Star Wars and Wyatt only has one tub of Batman- will they notice this? So I decided Wyatt could also have a small tub of Trio blocks. Keeping things "even" was challenging. There were a few other keep items- games, puzzles, nerf guns/swords.

Now I am on to the get rid of stuff part. This was really hard for me. When I was about 6, my parents got rid of nearly everything I owned one day while I was gone ( the reasoning behind it- oh it is insane and I'll save that story for another time, but none the less it was traumatic for me) so now I am afraid that is what I am doing to my kids! There are toys they just got for Christmas but I hadn't seen them play with them so they must go, man what a wate. 

That right there is what I am trying to avoid- wasting money on toys that will never be played with. The toys I knew I hadn't bought were a little easier to put in the basket but the ones I had- man that was hard. I kept thinking maybe if I keep this and get rid of something else they will play with it. Maybe I should do the rotate out toys like some other people do. But no, no, no! It must go. Let someone who will appreciate and play with them have them! Let some other mother put all these little pieces away!!!

Once the closet was empty then the task of placing all the items back in came. I came up with a plan I thought worked best knowing the issues they boys have with getting to some toys due to height/weight etc... so I moved a shelf and Tada! A far more functional closet!

The rest of the work was just daunting. I did finally get to the books after tripping over them for nearly 2 hours. I mean why was I so stupid to not get to that first- it was one of the easier jobs- sort my size, place on shelf! Pulling out the mountains of junk from under their bed was great. Who knew that much junk could fit under there! I mean how are their beds still on the floor?!

One of the irritating parts was just the constant re-binning of items. I found Lego pieces everywhere. I felt like I spent the majority of my time just picking up small parts of things and putting them in the right bin.

I also swapped out their computer monitor. They had a huge one and I noticed my old flat screen in the basement. I think Brad uses it when he has computer problems and needs to move a monitor around but sorry honey the kids desk just needed something smaller on it!

So YAY! For the most part the room is done. We still need to weed through stuffed animal land. Right now they are all shoved on the top shelf of their closet. The bins need labels. Levi has a ton of school papers under his bed. And their desk drawer/shelf need to be tackled but YAY! This is the room I was dreading the most. I think I will volunteer Brad to finish the small details with the boys now that I have accomplished the brunt of it.

Slobs, I have created little slobs!

I'm discouraged today... yes, I know, awfully quick to be throwing in the towel... Well I am not throwing it in- I just need a good whine or wine, whatever!

**I do need a disclaimer for the pictures you are about to see. You guys are going to think I am a HUGE slob. My house is not usually this bad for more then a day. I simply can't stand it. Yes, it gets this bad QUICK but I don't let it stay. The whole decluttering thing- well yeah, that is so it CAN'T get like this!!!**

I've spent today running errands so no working on the house- this is NOT good around here. I woke up to a HUGE mess nearly everywhere, but especially my children's rooms. They were not this bad when I put them to bed. Okay they were bad but not THIS bad!!!

I told the boys they could read books before bed- this is what came of that simple statement!

Then there is just the general floor and closet mess. I think they don't like to see their carpet. And their closet- well we put the shelves in there to make it more organized- FAIL!

And Lil Miss...well she is no different. Her room is a tad better off because Daddy cleaned it with her a few days ago but....

WOW! My kids are slobs, I was aware of this but when I really started looking at every area that needs change then I started noticing it so much more. Add this to areas of failure as a mom- teach children to be neat- FAIL! But I will soon be getting a passing grade there. It will take a little hard work but will be so worth it!!!

Back to my discouragement- sadly their messes are not contained to their rooms- and we have all contributed slightly to the rest. Me and my random stuff relocation program and Brad with his well his complete disregard for items once he has set them down for some reason. If something leaves Brad's hand, well it will never be picked up again- ok well it might but not to reach it's final destination- not unless it has been handled 5-10 times previously. Apparently Brad's things need to tour our home first.

So here is my living room (also known as tent land), kitchen (see the high chair ON the counter- well Brad was taking that to the basement to fix it 3 days ago- apparently now he has set it down it has become invisible to him- vacuum too- they put themselves away don't ya know!), and then the entry way (this is where shoes, coats, backpacks are to be put up- wow my family has mastered this skill too (hangs head in shame).)

Oh man, where to clean as my next project??? The options are overwhelming!!!!

Let the Dust Fly!

It is day one of our transformation to a clutter free home. Where oh where to start?

Actually deciding where to start wasn't difficult. I opted for the Master bedroom. If I want the kids to make changes then I have to make one too. It seems only right that I take the first hit. Not going to be a hypocrite, nope not me!

My room isn't too bad- okay it is, no one goes up there, no one else sees it so I let it get trashed, I'd never let my downstairs look like this (ok well maybe just the backroom no one uses). Clutter-wise it is mostly the same thing in there- clothes, way too many clothes. Though I do seem to never have a thing to wear! I think that is just how it goes.

I don't have so many clothes that they won't all fit in my closet or dresser but somehow they don't seem to make it there. Well they do, kinda. Here is the problem- I wear clothes but I don't feel as though they are dirty enough to need washing. But they have been worn so I can't just hang them back up in the closet with the clean ones. I'm not sure why, I mean if they are clean they are clean- if they are dirty then wash them.... I don't know, some crazy logic I came up with long ago decided that the location for these semi-worn clothes is to be strewn about my room; piled on top of the dresser, night stand, any surface. If an ironing board gets left up in our room- good lord, it is covered in no time flat! That is why I don't iron... sure, that is why.

At least I keep my "will wear one more time before I wash them" clothes up. Brad just leaves them on the floor (sans the jeans you see hanging). Then when I toss them in the laundry he is slightly annoyed. I guess I should know the difference- ya know from the clothes on the floor right next to those on the floor that ARE supposed to be washed?!

So the clothes war begins...but in no time at all I realized wow, Brad has a ton of crap in his closet that are not clothes, not even bedroom closet type items- I found near 10 curtain rods- the cheapy white ones, shower door wall slots, and dust, good lord the dust. Brad's side of the closet took nearly an hour. Mine was a short 20 mins.

Here is the before and after closet shots.I think you can tell which one is which!

Do you see that! There is carpet in the bottom of our closets!!!

I mentioned dust earlier right? I have severely neglected Brad's side of the closet- well he has too lets not put the blame all on me- nothing is my fault anyways! I was sneezing and coughing so much while emptying his closet. The brown skirt I was wearing turned dust bunny gray. I seriously had to vacuum some of his clothes- that is how long it has been since he has worn them. But am I allowed to get rid of them? Nope. There is a funny story later about the whole getting rid of stuff argument! Anyways, because I didn't think you guys would really grasp just how dusty Brad's side of the closet was- well I took a picture of the vacuum bin! 

 

All of this dust is seriously JUST from Brad's side of the closet!!!!

Next it was on to the night stands and my dresser. Brad's dresser has a TV on it so he can no longer stack crap on it- and good thing too because before the TV he had it full of dusty stuff. Brad likes dust if you didn't already know that! So here are all of those before and after pictures.

 

Brad's night stand is so empty without a C-PAP machine!!! It makes me so happy!!!

And now my Dresser....this is where I tend to stack the kids clothes that no longer fit, because that makes tons of sense! The door hides it...sure, sure it does!

 

Tada!

I came across one problem as I was cleaning, Brad's stuff. He does not like for people (meaning me) to throw his things away. BUT he also doesn't like to go through it himself. Nope, he rather just becomes oblivious to it. I really am shocked at how men seem to look at a room and not see the same mess everyone else does! 

Anyways, he had this box that has been sitting in MY side of the closet for nearly 8 years. Yes, I just said 8 years. Does he get in this box? No. Does he even know what is in it? I think not. Well he looked at the trash and saw something he thought was of value in it. I told him not to dig through the trash because I just threw his box away. I mean I did go through it real quick but really after 8 years, none of that stuff matters! So what was in the box he asks, papers, magnets, random keys... "What?! Random keys. What were they to?" Um, I don't know and you don't either! Oh but he is sure he does and that these keys are necessary. They may go to his pad lock, that is in his dresser- with the key not in it. Why is the key not in it? Wouldn't that be the ideal storage place for the key of an unused lock?

So I have to go through the trash. (Eyes rolling here) I threw out screws (gasp!) and yes ONE useful key. "Oh I was wondering where that was!" Apparently for 8 years you have been wondering.

Brad was slightly annoyed at me. But frankly I think he owes me thanks- he would have never found that key had I not thrown it away! And even if it had made it out to the curb before he was aware of my trashing of it- he'd be in no different position then he has been FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS!

 

Another problem, one that comes with all big cleaning/organizing projects, relocation of stuff to other rooms. I may have cleaned my room but I have junked up areas of my home- the bathroom, the hallway, my kitchen counter.... I've decided as long as this stuff isn't making me crazy I am just leaving it to be put away properly when I get to those areas of the house. I better not be having company over anytime soon! Here are a few junk relocation pictures. Maybe it is similar to witness relocation? Though sadly an old sleeping bag can't magically turn into a beautiful useful comforter just by testifying my  room was a mess and signing some papers!

Oh! and not everything was relocated to a new home.... I filled a few bags/boxes to be sold or donated. Right now we decided to keep all the get rid of stuff together then we will look it all over and decide what to do at once. And Brad said he will help more in going though his stuff...here is to hoping he does! He did help me finish up the room which is a big thing, sleep apnea Brad would have never got around to it! I'm excited!

A Simpler Life

For quite sometime I have been bothered with how my home life is going... not what I do but more like how it is done.

I want a simpler life. I think it is attainable. Just getting there is confusing. But I am done with the waiting around like it will magically happen without any effort on my part. Ah, good-bye sweet delusions, I'll miss you! So now I'm working on making changes and getting Brad on board with me.


Brad actually is a big part in my putting it off and my starting our family changes. Before surgery he was tired ALL the time. Getting him to do anything around the house was just such a pain I'd give up verses trying to get him to help out more. But now he is sleep apnea free and I'm accepting no excuses! I warned him his "Honey Do List" was going to be long, I wasn't joking!

So what do I want? Well, I want a clutter free life. I seriously want everything to have a place and everything in it's place. I want kids that play outside. I want my kids to respect me more and do what I say when I say it not after begging, complaining, bartering, and taking tone with me. I want them to do more chores, I'm sick of everything being on me and then the ungratefulness for all I do. I also want the kids to learn the value of things. They seem to have everything and are so ungrateful for it. This ungratefulness then leads to them leaving everything everywhere not taken care of, nothing has importance. Things are about to change!

I'm not sure how I am going to accomplish my goals but I think it starts with decluttering our lives. No more toys shoved in every spot possible, a reasonable amount of clothing for each person, not keeping things "just in case"... I don't think it will all fall into place once the house is completely under control but I really think it will help.

One problem- I don't like schedules, I don't want our days planned out to the minute I enjoy sleeping in, running to the park on a nice day, lunches with friends, etc but I'm going to have to come up with something so the kids know what it is they have to do and when it must be done by. I think this would help with their "shock" when I tell them to do something and disrupt their lives like the mean mother I am!

Another problem is what to do with all the stuff I am about to purge our lives of? I hate doing garage sales all the pricing, sorting, setting up, the people who argue about prices... I just want to donate it all and write it off BUT then I think making a little extra cash would be a nice reward for all of our hard work. I feel bad for just wanting to get rid of the stuff like it is wasteful so I have to keep reminding myself I am not the one who has wasted money on it. All of our junk is from my mom. She cannot control herself no matter what I tell her.

So this will be a summer of change and learning for our family. I am hoping all for the better. I plan on blogging out all our new found strategies working or not. I can't be the only one in this boat. Maybe I can help you and you can help me.

My goal is by summers end we are on the path I am hoping for!