I Brought Home Marmaduke

I'm so not a pet person. So why oh why do I own a dog? Beats me. Well I know why, I was lonely, probably wanting baby number 3 and thought a dog was the perfect solution. I like to watch TV and Brad doesn't so much, the kids are in bed by 7, so of course a cute little dog to keep me company was the answer. Ah did you see that, I said little. There, maybe that is my flaw, I didn't go with little. Nope, I brought home Marmaduke. Ok so he isn't that big but he is no lap dog. I brought home Linus, a 100lb Chocolate Lab.

Linus wasn't 100lbs when we brought him home, he was a teeny 80. At least I had enough sense in me not to bring home a puppy I'd have to train. Linus was about 9 months old and had seemingly went through some training . He knew sit, stay, shake, ya know the basics. Oh and the most paramount, he was house broken.

Ok I get that puppies are cute but I don't see how the cuteness outweighs all the extra work. The yapping, the pee puddles, chewing, biting, did I mention pee puddles? Lady and the Tramp comes to mind, remember just how annoying Lady was when they first got her. Why do we subject ourselves to this?

It is like having a baby I suppose. Anyways, we bring home this screaming, puking, pooping, constantly needing something, baby but at least they outgrow it and I personally see the rewards of having a child and going through all the stages of life as hard as some may be. But a pet, nope I don't see the reward. I guess the problem is that since I am not a pet person so I don't see pets as members of the family. So all this extra work, well it is just annoying.

I keep trying. I really keep trying to like Linus but I just can't. I look at him and I see work. I walk through the kitchen and step in his dog water drooly drips. I try to walk through my backyard but must maneuver through the landmines of a dog that can't just poo in one place. Anywhere I  look down there it is fur, it is everywhere, I think you could drown in it. I have to vacuum every single day and what do I get every day- oh an entire puppy worth of hair. Why would anyone like this? Why would anyone subject themselves to this on purpose?

I blame movies, TV, books, any and all forms of media. Dogs are mans best friend, every kid needs a dog, a dog is the culmination of the average family...just keep pumping this into our heads. You know who believes it- oh all of us. Then we grown ups get a dog and then realize what a farce this is but by then it is too late, either we already have one of these beast and can't get rid of it out of guilt or our kids succumb to the brainwashing and guilt us parents into it.

That is where I am now. Guilt is making me keep Linus. My son loves him. My other son wants to trade him for a fish, man I wish he could talk his brother into it. My daughter well she loves Linus just as much as I do, guess she watches me express my affection for him and follow suit. So what is a mom to do. I suppose my job as a mom is to grin and bare it for my kids. So I am trying, really trying...