ADHD, there it is. This is what I heard coming out of a Doctor's mouth yesterday. Followed by an explanation of just how difficult my child was to test and even though she is not a "jump on board with meds" kinda person, in his case she thinks it would be very beneficial. Then off to said waiting room for 3 hours while she continued to test Wyatt. Hmmm, maybe she could have saved that morsel of information for the end of the appointment. And perhaps my book choice wasn't the best... House Rules by Jodi Picoult.
This diagnosis was not really an official one yet and there is still continued testing to rule out a mild form of Aspergers (this is where the poor book choice comes in). The only reason I know about her impending diagnosis is before she started testing I told her I'd like to have a few words, that there have been some behavior changes since we started this process. I went on about the crazy non-stop antics and how I felt like the worst mom just failing all around. Failing Wyatt, failing Levi, glad Lucy wasn't old enough to realize just how much I am failing yet, failing...
She proceeded to tell me that she is going to diagnose ADHD and has been waiting for me to come in to tell her all of this information. That she knew from the first day of talking and testing that I would. And she threw in there that I wasn't failing but it didn't seem all that convincing coming from a Dr who has met me all of 4 times and has never even seen my other children. And I know I'm not failing horribly- but we all expect better from ourselves and I feel like I am just so far away from where I should be... and being the perfectionist and over achiever that I am anything less then perfection, well that is failing.
I just think there are all these signs that I missed for so long, what else am I over-looking? The very first appointment with her made me start to look with clearer eyes at our life. There were so many things I said were not affecting our lives but really they were. It happened so gradually we slowly changed the way we did things and it just felt normal. Even since yesterday when she said ADHD I'm already seeing things I didn't necessarily see before and thinking " OH! that does make sense now!" (Perhaps I'm just easily persuaded... would someone please tell me I have perfect angel children so I can start seeing that?!)
Anyways, I came home ready to Google ( you know I LOVE me some Google)- diet changes, medications, schedules, charts, behavior plans, vitamins, etc... there has to be a ton of information out there but the Dr gave me none, not a thing- just a " Hey I've decided your son has ADHD and here is a name of a neurologist to make an appt with..." But Google is not my friend on this topic because Google has too much info. I don't know where to start. I don't know what is legitimate. Why can't it be as easy as stalking out an address? That I am good at. Heck, I found my long lost brother with only a name, a general area, and remembering he was a fireman once. I found his cell phone number in township meeting minutes! Stalking I can do- research apparently not. If it was research for someone else I bet that would be easier too.... I'm over thinking perhaps...
I'm a problem solver, that is what I do. I pinpoint the problem, I come up with a solution, and I implement steps to ensure resolution. I don't know what is exactly the problem- does one thing effect another? What is the root? Do you change one thing at a time or everything at once? So I can't come up with a solution or even start a plan.
So now my secondary problem is that I don't know how to gather information on dealing with ADHD. My resolution is having the needed info, so my solution- well that is this blog, to clear my head and solicit advise from you and a call to our Primary Care Doctor is in order for Monday....staking her out on Facebook like I want is probably not a good idea...(and yes of course I've found her but I will not message or hit that friend request button)
Now you, please info overload me.... I need valid reliable sources, forget all of Google's sources- I pick you- now GO!
I was diagnosed at an early age with ADHD, 3rd grade I believe. I won't pull any punches, it was a roller coaster ride right up to the day I graduated High School and beyond.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is be supportive, be patient and just be the ever resourceful mom. ADHD isn't a stigma but a lot of people will build it up to be. Reassure your son that thee is nothing wrong with him. Chemical imbalances are natural.
This last portion is not to cause alarm but caution. Be aware of behavioral changes as he reaches puberty. The one thing my mom never caught early enough was the onset of depression and bipolar disorder. If you don't feel the doctor you are seeing now is giving you enough information see someone else immediately and get answers. Google will only get you so far. I am unsure what the people I see do for ADHD, but contact Oakland Psychological in Grand Blanc and see what they can offer as far as information.
Lastly, just relax. You haven't failed. With love, support and understanding your son will be just fine. In the case of my mother and I it brought us very close and she is like my best friend now at 23. Good luck to you.
Oh Becky, I totally feel for you! Being a mother is such a hard job, and I think it's pretty typical to have days where you feel like you're failing. I'm pretty sure you aren't failing though. You have three great kids! Anyway I just wanted to let you know that though Ethan hasn't ever been diagnosed with ADHD, we put him on a special diet when he was in Kindergarten and it has helped him so much! You see his body just cannot process all the chemicals that are in our food, and as a result it makes him act crazy. They say that their bodies don't tolerate these artificial colors and artificial flavors. It's almost like an allergy. It typically only effects boys also. He would have fits of rage, he couldn't concentrate, it was making reading difficult. After we took artificial colors and flavors out of his diet, he changed completely. It takes about 2 weeks to work out of his system so the change was not overnight, but gradual. After about a month on the diet though, he got sick and had to go on an antibiotic (that was pink), and he reverted back overnight to all his problems. It was shocking to see how much of a difference the change had made. I have a friend at church who has a son, Ethan's age, and she started this diet change with her son about 6 months ago. Again it was a gradual change so she didn't notice the difference at first. But he came up 2 grade levels in his reading within weeks. She let him go back to eating regular food this summer and she said what a mistake that was. She noticed he started stuttering more again and was having a lot of problems.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I'm not saying this will or will not work in your situation, but I thought I would let you know what has worked for us. I know that we would probably have had Ethan tested and on meds by now if I hadn't have found out about this diet change. I have a book you can read about it if you would like to borrow it. I can't think what it is called or I would give you the name right now (we are up north). Let me know. Hugs!!
Hello............
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