Oh Look, Dad Was In Charge Today!

Maybe I used to care more, maybe the kids have worn me down, maybe it is just more prevalent when there is three of them....But no matter what the reason I seem to be the mom with 3 crazy looking kids following behind her....or off to the side, maybe 20 feet in front of her...ya know in the general area of me!

I realized this a couple weeks ago when I was taking the kids for a quick Taco Bell trip. I walked in with Batman, a kid in floods, and a lil girl in pooh bear moon boots (it was 70 degrees out). I guess I knew I was caring a little bit less about how matchy-matchy the kids were before this date but it was the true realization. I looked behind me and thought, wow I am that mom i have seen at Walmart and thought, wow really? See, the boys are finally starting to dress themselves and Lucy, well she has always had an opinion about what she should wear. Me, well I am apparently not caring as much.

I never really cared when the boys were younger if they dressed themselves super crazy. Costumes to grocery shop in have never been a biggie with me. Actually, I think it is cute and love it when they do that! It is the just almost matching or a size too big or too small that bothered me. I figured if they looked totally outrageous then people would figure they dressed themselves. But, if they just almost matched then people might think I actually dressed them like that as if I think it matches or fits. That is what bothered me.

I recall this one day when Brad got Levi up and dressed for school. What I didn't know, as I was sleeping so soundly in bed, is that he told Levi to pick out his own clothes. Then, apparently Brad was blind to him until Levi was stepping on to the bus. How did Brad send my child to school- oh in his little brothers pants- he normally wore a 6 and he went to school in 3T pants. It looked like he had little girl capri pants on. When I watched Levi get off the bus in those pants I could have died! Ok not literally but ya know. I just knew he had been walking around and every adult in the building had thought, "Good Lord what did his mother dress him in!" Later when I really thought about it I decided there were mostly women in the building and their actual thought was probably " Oh look, Dad was in charge today!"

Levi, well he likes to wear clothes that just almost match and he is the king of floods. He seems to get attached to his clothing and just can't let it go or maybe it is his clothes literally are attached TO him, because he also never changes his clothes. During the school week he has to shower and put on new clothes every morning but over the summer and weekends when things are more lax and showers aren't forced well it isn't shocking to see that kid Sunday night in what he put on Friday morning. Hey saves me on laundry right?

Wyatt, well he is king of costumes. He is the kid that leaves the house dressed as batman, a cowboy, a power ranger.... Not only will he dress as these characters but he really thinks the rest of us think he IS that character. He also is my only child dresses himself every single morning as soon as he wakes up but, he has no concept of color and matching. He is my child you see in brown cords with a black Halloween t-shirt. He also has his own fashion trend, one I have always loved. He wears clip on ties with his t-shirts. It is so he can be "fancy" ya know!

Lucy, well I have waited far too long for a girl to dress so I have say on her clothes most of the time. I do let her pick pieces and I know her style so I stick with. Yes, at 2 my daughter has a "style." Her fashion downfalls that I am learning to accept- oh Princesses and Dora on clothing. She loves to wear princess dresses out and her shoes, she is picky about her shoes. She gets in shoe ruts though where she will only wear one shoe no matter what the outfit is, hence the moon boots at Taco Bell.

So I think the answer is that the kids are just wearing me down. But, I'll play it off as if I am letting them discover their own individuality. There are and I'm sure still will be many a times I'll look behind me and think, Whose kids are these and Good Lord what did you mother let you wear today!

A Bit-O-Pack-Rat

Why do we continue to buy our children toys? Why oh why? We all know they prefer things like boxes or bubble wrap so much more!

I actually don't buy my kids toys, other then at Christmas and their birthday. And even on those occasions I keep it to a minimum. My kids only get one *gasp* ONE gift from us on their birthday. If they happen to want a couple cheaper things then that will happen but the norm is one good gift.

Yet, my house is jam packed, burtsing at the seams, full of T-O-Y-S!!!

My mother... the reason for my toy problem is my mother. She buy them toys for every holiday, St. Patricks day, Valentines day, heck she could find a reason to give gifts for presidents day ( I am not joking here). And no, it isn't one gift, it is a garbage bags worth for each kid. So that is times 3 here at our house, 3 garbage bags full of pretty much just that, garbage, dropped off monthly. I don't know why I don't just take it to the road. Well I do, I feel bad.

I wish she would stop wasting her money. I wish even more that I could come to grips with this as her loss not mine and I don't have to hold on to junk just because she chose to buy it. I was raised by a hoarder here people. I am FAR from her but her crazy logic was pumped into my brain day in and day out through my formidable years!!! I may need to undergo hypnosis or something (insert sarcastic tone here)!

A lot of times I can grab stuff and stick it aside to take back, re-gift (yep I said it), craigslist it, or donate. But even that is a pain. It requires organizing and making time to take it somewhere, posting, etc... I'm a quick and easy kinda person, I like everything to be quick and easy! Did I mention QUICK and EASY?

I have this plan of having one of those super clean organized homes, all fresh and clean ready for a commercial to be shot in it at any moment. I know I have 3 kids, but I really don't find it unrealistic to have a clean home.

I was raised in chaos, maybe that is why I long for organization. However, I am lacking the organizing skills it seems, or maybe it is just the proper motivation. I want it but do I really want it bad enough?

I do. I really do. I don't want to have even one room in my house that I am embarrassed for people to see, basement included because frankly the basement is my biggest issue. I don't want daily battles with the kids. I want everything to have a place and everything in its place.

I'm not looking for a spotless 24/7, museum type house. Just one that is easy to clean up after. I mean if something is being played with then by all means make a mess with it, enjoy it. But afterward, pick the dang mess up!  If there were less, this process would be simpler, or at least in my mind it would be.

I think if the kids had less they would be happier. They would enjoy the things they do have more and actually play with some of their toys. Now it seems as though the toys hit the floor but I don't see any actual playing with them. Plus, how ungrateful are they becoming. Too much, they are given too much.

So over the summer my intention is to have a clutter revolution at my house. I refuse to store toys for the next kid to play with or to rotate out. I'm not starting a give away pile and waiting until it is overflowing or the kids have began picking things out of it to take it somewhere. I also have a habit of thinking,, oh I'll sell this on Craigslist or something. But do I, nope. People there always wasting my time anyways.

Perhaps I'll have a garage sale. Maybe I'll have a come just take my junk give away for my friends and random people driving by. I don't know. I need to come up with a plan. But it will go. It MUST go.

Explaining this to the kids, that seems tough. I've been making comments here and there mentioning we need to get rid of toys and if there is something they don't want they should please give it to me to find a new home for. But what do they give me, oh one broken something that just needs to go in the trash anyways. I guess it is a start right?

Brad is also going to have a hard time with my clutter revolution. He is a bit-o-pack-rat. (You find those in the computer nerd aisle, not the candy aisle in case you are wondering) But guess what Brad, no more sleep apnea! No reason you are far too tired after work or on weekends to be included in my revolution. You sir, are second in command so hop on your horse and get to the battle!

So here is me telling all of you that by the end of summer my house WILL be clutter free. It will! One of my wonderful characteristics that make me who I am is that I do not fail, ever, for any reason within my control. So unless something terrible happens or we end up on a summer vaction to a beautiful island I will be working on my house!

And lucky for all of you, I think some humorous blogs should emerge from this endeavor...

Ode to the Blue Box

Mac n Cheese so cheesy and yummy oh how I love thee. Let me count the ways.....

My love affair with Mac n Cheese began, hmmm probably 29 years ago, though I can't be certain. But it has to be the blue box, no others will do, Kraft you have my heart! You would think I'd be tired of this dish but no, I still love it just as much now as I did then. It however doesn't love me back. No, now it makes me fat and raises my cholesterol. Still can I part with my dear friend? No, I cannot.

I mean how can you not like it? Noodles. Yum! Cheese.Yum! (well imitation cheese powder, whatever, same thing! Still yum!)Mix those together, add butter and milk- YUM!

Mac n Cheese was my saving grace as a child, I would have starved without it. I was a horribly picky eater for one. Secondly, no one ever made me dinner. It was kinda just fend for yourself at my house. At six years old I could make my own Mac, boil water, drain, and all. Back then I was a stickler for exact measurements. I followed the directions to a "T." Six cups of water exactly was brought to a boil. Do you even know the directions call for 6 cups of water, probably not, like that matters. I was even anal about how you sprinkled the cheese packet in. In case you are wondering, because this is such an important topic, I had to be stirring as I slowly sprinkled the cheese in. No clumps of any kind. I guess I just wasn't as efficient of a stirrer as I am now.

And here is the tear jerky part of my blog, well maybe for you, it was my normal so it didn't bother me as much growing up as you'd think it would. Mac was also a safe food. I grew up with a hoarder. Yep, like the ones you see on those shows. One of her favorite things to hoard- food. So pretty much all the food in our house had bugs in it. But, I knew that Mac n Cheese was "safe." I ate it fast enough it couldn't sit in the cupboard. Plus when you dump the noodles in the water you knew right off the bat if there was bugs in it. This is a skill no child should have. But I survived, thanks to Mac n cheese, oh and Hot Pockets too, ya know for protein, instead of bugs. They are high in protein right? lol!

Mac n Cheese has stood by me through every phase of my life, the little hungry picky kid, the broke on her own girl, the pregnant woman who needed a 2am fix, the mom in need of a meal the kids would eat without complaints...Well, I do have one weirdo kid, who can't possibly be mine. This child actually cries if I'd make him eat Mac n Cheese. Something is seriously wrong with him, we will seek counseling!

The Princess and the Pea

I had a Princess and the Pea night last night. Okay so it wasn't a pea, it wasn't under my mattress, and I'm not, oh wait I am a princess.

So what was my "pea?" Oh, it was granola (McNola for my readers). And why oh why is there granola in my bed? Um, that would be because I don't like to wake up in the mornings so I bring up a breakfast that Lucy can eat in my bed while watching cartoons. That way I can sleep in. Judge all you want but I get to sleep in EVERY day.

Usually I can change breakfast up but lately she requires juice, a banana, and a granola bar. I'm not too picky about what she eats in my bed. Why you may ask? Well the answer is simple, Brad usually isn't in bed and she eats it on HIS side. So no crumbs in my area, only in his, equals no worries!

But not last night. Nope, last night I kept feeling these small lumps in my bed. I'd reach down to see what it could be and there it was, granola chunks stuck to my princess skin! I was shocked just how annoying these tiny crumbs could be, they actually even hurt a little. Man, I am a princess. There will be no camping ground sleeping for me, can you imagine the night I'd have?!

So will my morning granola ritual continue, yep. Soon Brad will be out of bed and we can go back to our normal torture of him, he is no princess, he'll survive! In the meanwhile I'll keep the handi-vac close by and enjoy my princess sleep.

Yep, I'm Going To Start Wearing Wings!

Keep the kids out of the kitchen! It is X-rated in there. Those dishes are just nasty and multiplying!!!!

I'm guessing it like this at most people homes, you leave one cup in the sink and the next time you walk in there is a plate, some silverware, and a few more cups. It is like that lone cup, even if it is obviously soaking, is some sign to every other member of your household that the dishwasher is full and no one better dare open it to check. No, that would be a mortal sin- stay away from the dishwasher door at all times!

Don't worry family just leave your dishes all over the counter tops and sink. The cleaning fairy will be in to take care of it in no time. What a  good  little cleaning fairy she is!

At least this cleaning fairy has a dishwasher, if there wasn't one here when she moved in then you better believe within days one would have been installed. Ok maybe not days but definitely soon.

Brad and I were both dishwasherless prior to this house. And the cute couple that we were (I mean still are) would do dishes together. Actually, a lot of the time I'd do the dishes at his house and he'd do them at mine (awwww). But then we got married and had kids... Apparently that means it is now the cleaning fairy's job to do the dishes. Occasionally she has a little troll helper (ha ha sorry Brad!)

Lucky for our cleaning fairy she has a pretty awesome life, a daily battle with the dishes is nothing. just a fun little complaint here and there. But ya know what might be fun, if I started wearing wings while I cleaned!

All Green Life On Earth Beware!

Last night I was taking care of dishes when I saw two little plants that my children have brought home from school. It got me thinking. My mind wanders down some crazy paths so here is my train of thought...

Oh look, I haven't killed Levi's plant yet. Wow, it has been months. The kids had a bet when this plant came home, along with another one, which one I would kill first. They were right, I killed the other one first. Ah, here is Wyatt's cup o' plant. Unfortunately this one came home before a sprout had sprouted. Yep, it isn't going to make it. There will never be life in that cup. I will either drown it or dehydrate it, there is no happy plant hydrating medium with me. I need Poison Ivy here. Not the weed/flower/whatever it is but Poison Ivy, the evil villainess from Batman. She could make these plants live. I'm such the opposite of her. That is my Super Hero power- plant killing. Oh wait that isn't such a super power now is it? How can I be the anti-Poison ivy and be a good guy with that as my power?

Ok so as of right now, I have no super Hero power I can think of. But yep, I'd make a good villainess! You are worried about pollution from cars, factories,etc... well watch out! Who is worried about their own carbon footprint with me on the loose!? All green life on earth beware! Becky is out there and she can kill you without even trying! All that has to happen for you to die dear green life, is for someone to say Becky is in charge of you. Certain death, you are facing certain death.

Seriously, an Evergreen tree in my yard died. An EVERgreen. Ya know, those trees that stay green all year, the ones that live next to polluted roads and don't really even require maintenance? Yep, that Evergreen. The one in my yard not only was dying slowly but it chose to committed tree suicide rather then stick around my plant killing powers any longer. A small wind blew and that tree uprooted itself, it didn't want to suffer any longer with its slow death. It has a partner back there that is now dying the same slow death. I wonder if it will commit tree suicide as well?

There was another tree in the front yard that died right after I moved in. I've killed a few bushes. I can't even count the amount of flowers that have succumb to my super powers. Plants given as gifts after the birth of my children didn't last more then a month. There is no mercy given!

Like all Villains and Super Heroes alike I do have my Kryptonite  it seems, there is one plant that I can not seem to kill. At least not quickly, it is the aloe plant. A friend gave me this plant over a year ago and shockingly it is still alive, and growing!

I guess that would make this plant giver  my mortal enemy? Watch out Cheryl and your garden, Black Thumb is now after you!

Grey's the McPreschool Years

Lucy- "Mom, is that my McPel?"
Me- " Um, no honey this is my PROpel."
Lucy- " Oh. That's you McPel, Where is mine McPel?"

Yes, My daughter is star of the new Gray's Anatomy Spin off, Gray's the Preschool Years. At this point in their young lives Meredith, Christina, and Izzy aren't talking about McDreamy or McSteamy nope- they are refining their "Mc"ing skills by turning all nouns into a McWord.

They start the day with a McNana and McNola bar. Then they watch some McTV. There is McNap Time, McPlaydates, McSwings, McDolls, you get the idea right?

I didn't plan on Lucy starring in this show but apparently she was determined, learning their McLanguage all on her own. She is quite talented too, it is no wonder she got the Mcpart. What a proud McMom I am. McLOL!

Okay, now that we have that worked out let the promo play...

Not Reality, Actuality. This is TRU TV's slogan.

Ok, so first of all what does this mean? What exactly is the difference between reality and actuality? I guess reality is each person's take on what is actually happening/actuality (reality is perception right?).  That means actuality is what is really happening outside of every ones perception of it. Part of me wants to break this down to a logic/algebraic interpretation, but yeah, I won't. I've probably confused you enough.

So outside of this slogan not making much sense the most annoying part of this that most of their shows are neither actuality or reality. Nope, their shows are made up and scripted. Then actors are paid to preform as they shoot it reality show style. Maybe this is the definition of actuality! LOL

Tru TV does have shows like Forensic Files, things that actually happened not filmed reality style. These shows fit the channels slogan but they aren't the ones advertised all day and night long. I get that maybe every show won't fit the slogan so ok then, quit blasting the it all over when advertising these made up shows! It makes me crazy.

I am seriously that nut job laying in bed telling the TV how stupid it is. Man, I'm glad there isn't a mirror up there so I can look back and see just how stupid I am at that moment! But my reality (the perception of it) is that everything is just fine with me yelling at the TV. Maybe I'll set up a camera to video tape myself. Then when I watch the video of myself it can be actuality which apparently is better then reality! Maybe Tru TV will buy my series- TV Judgment. Great name huh?! I can see the commercial promo now, a shot of TV, a shot of a bed, a clip of me complaining and then what- the announcer breaks in with, "Don't Miss an all new episode of TV Judgement, Friday nights at 8, on Tru TV, Not Reality, Actuality.

Oh wait, now I have confused myself! This isn't what their Actuality shows are, nope what I described, well that would be a reality show. For it to be an Actuality show I'd have to give them my idea then they would have to write a script, hire an actor to play me and then shoot it reality style. Okay, now that we have that worked out let the promo play....."Don't miss an all new episode......"


Because some of you probably have no idea what I am talking about Here are Tru TV's Big Actuality (so not) hits-
Repo Men- This gem of a show is so not reality or actuality. It is way too out there. The basis of this show is following this crazy repo team as they repo cars, motorcycles, a ZAMBONI, ya know, all the normal stuff. Of course nothing goes easily- there is midget S&M craziness being interrupted because " #itch don't take my truck!" Red neck shirtless and toothless fights over an El Camino. It is just ridiculousness, pure ridiculousness! There is absolutely no way that that many crazy situations would happen to one Repo Team. Especially when a camera just happens to be there. It is all made up, a script is written and these "actors" act it all out. They are actually making a movie out of this crap, wow. To each his own I know but I just can't stand this show.

Another gem, Southern-Fried Stings...oh even the name is horrid. This is some show about the people you call when you need the cops but don't want to call the cops. So classy. I guess I can't bash it too badly because I frankly have not wasted one second of my life watching this show but really, just the premise of it... I have obviously seen the ridiculous promo commercials for it. Which are of course wrapped up with " Tru TV, Not Reality, Actuality."

must.not.throw.remote.at.television...

Have Fun, I'll Be Over Here Sleeping In.

I mentioned somewhere about me being a baby hater... guess I should explain.

Yes, it is true, I have become a baby hater. A true, certified (if that was such a thing), card carrying (again if that was a real thing) baby hater! Sorry to all my friends that are still in the baby bearing stage. It is nothing personal I swear. I just can't help it.

It is like this...I don't want to see your baby, or tell you how cute he is, I don't want to hold him, change a diaper, or have to wipe bodily fluids of any kind off of me or him. I don't want to play with him or listen to stories about how he pulled himself up today, or have to pretend to be interested in his sleep schedule. And man oh man I just want to go out with you, that baby is ruining our time!

Yes, I have become like your childless friends. But there is a difference, you childless friends are just clueless. Me, well I know too much, that is the reason for my hating. I've been there, far too many times. I've spent what seemed like months awake. I've cleaned things that should be considered nuclear waste. I've spent years of my life walking and quieting an inconsolable child. I've tried to force food into a mouth that only knows how to spit not swallow. You name it and I have done it. Not only have I been through 4 of my own babies but I also worked in the baby room at a couple of daycares and babysat. I have done my fair share of "babytime." I blame them, those babies have done me in and turned me agaist them all on their own.

What was at one point in my life "cute" has now become annoying. I used to love babies and wanted to hold them and be with them all the time.... things have changed! There is however, a couple exceptions to my baby hating, one is for my friends. Since I have been there I know how much you need and want to talk about your baby, I'll listen. I know you deserve to eat a meal without a child on your lap or your food being cold and I will gladly help. That kind of stuff. But the help is now for my friends not for the love of babies like it once was. The other exception is newborns of any kind. Yep, I still love newborns, they are so tiny, sleepy, and cuddly. Newborns can suck me right in. But they have some poison in their smell. A poision that makes even the biggest baby hater think for just one second, oh I want one..... But then they cry their little lamb cry and you remember, yep here is your kid back! Have fun, me I'll be over here sleeping in.

Translation, It Is Super Gross In There

Six more weeks...we have SIX more weeks...

Brad had his second post op appt today. This one was with the big wig, the head of the department,and the one who actually preformed his surgery, Dr. Helman. Since I have a history of renaming Drs, I'm guessing you can figure his out. Yep, he is Dr. Mayo.

Dr. Mayo sent a resident in first to ask how things were going. I tried my normal "throw Brad under the bus" tactics because I really wanted him to know just how much time Brad is spending in bed and see what he'd say, where people should be at this point, which is 6 weeks post-op. He laughed it off, like I was just some wife who wanted her husband to do more. Seriously, no one is going to tell him to get up more. I really must come to a true peace on this topic. Maybe I will, but I'm guessing not, it is hard. I think I am doing better at keeping it to myself at this point. I get to blog it here and I make jokes every now and then but I like to think I am keeping the nag under control!

The resident, hmm...I have no name for him...anyways, he looked Brad over and said everything was looking well. He did mention that Brad needed to rinse with warm salt water 7-8 times a day still, he hasn't been at all, just a Rx mouthwash. So I looked at Brad and said, "translation, it is super gross in there!"

Next they took Brad for X-Rays so I snatched up his comfy chair and pulled out the laptop to entertain myself with U of M's WiFi. When Brad came back that guy actually kicked me out of his chair. And I was having this weird back pain, I had been mentioning it since right before we left the house. I couldn't even guilt him into letting me have the chair. Man oh man, he is milking this surgery for all he can. Won't let his wife spend a few mins in a more comfortable seat, grumble, grumble, grumble....

So this is the Dr. Mayo entrance time. He came in, an older man who has been practicing in his field for 23 years. He didn't seem as though he thought he was above us, he was pretty friendly, shook my hand, looked at me as well as Brad when he spoke. He told Brad that he would need to stay banded shut another 4-6 weeks. We were originally told it was only 6 weeks. So at the last appt when they said they "might" take the bands off at this appointment we had kind of accepted that this week they would loosen his bands and in 2 weeks take them off.  So we were shocked at the thought of 6 more weeks. Dr. Mayo told us that his interns are idiots, yep that is the term he used. He said the 6 weeks is usually for the patients that do this surgery for cosmetic reasons,  man that still BLOWS my mind, the things people do in the name of vanity. Anyways, when the surgery is done to correct S.A. the jaws are moved forward further so if the bands are removed too early and the bones are not healed enough then his jaw bones can be pulled back by the muscles and make his bite off. Often the teeth will turn upward. Then Brad would have to undergo another surgery. Yes, lets avoid that!

Brad is already down 30lbs in 5 weeks, I wonder how much more he will drop in the next six weeks. He could stand to lose a bit more so I'm not too worried about it but I think I need to be more involved in his eating schedule. His mom has been keeping our freezer stocked which has been an awesome life saver for me because frankly my blender has it out for me! So I just leave it to Brad to warm things up as he wants them and he isn't keeping a calorie count or eating as much as he should.

Now we have an appointment scheduled in 4 weeks. At that appointment they will decide if he gets the bands off, if he gets looser bands, or if he has to keep the same tightness of bands. If he gets them off then there is the possibility he will have to put the bands back on himself at night while he sleeps for 2 weeks. I think this option, though it seems good because he can open his mouth, would be miserable for Brad. He has wires wrapped around each tooth and the wire ends are just twisted sticking up every few teeth. There are also hooks at the top of each tooth. Right now I think the bands are creating some kind of cushioning between these irritating metal hooks and his lips/gums. So if the bands were removed his mouth would be getting kinda ripped up. The picture below isn't Brad's actual mouth but is what it kinda looks like only he has bands running up and down.

Friday is Brad's birthday, he was really hoping for a better gift, I was as well, he deserves it. As much as I joke and give him crap I really can't imagine just how miserable he has been, not only these last six weeks but the previous 8 years never getting any real rest. Hopefully the next month will be uneventful and go by quickly. Then we can start our new life together with a happier, healthier, definitely more rested Brad.

I want to lay in bed and fall asleep to a nice murder show...

Brad is trying to make me crazy, in his quest to never leave our bed. I've gotten past the whole trying to get him up thing. The problem now is what he is doing when he is in bed.

No it isn't that....it is gaming, non-stop all night long gaming. And not just any game but Modern Warfare 2, obviously a war game. A shooting, bombing, exploding, crashing, yelling, just plain noisy game. I used to be kept up all night long from snoring so of course it only makes sense for Brad to replace that noise with another.

At some point, probably because of  'if you can't beat them join them' kinda thinking, I decided to watch and learn things about the game. I found I actually enjoyed watching him. I like to pick one player who annoys me, usually because they have a dumb name, then cheer Brad on to kill that guy repeatedly. Plus I get to give Brad a ton of crap when he is sucking horribly.
I would learn how to play so I could have a turn and it could be a thing we do together but, I can't seem to play 3D games. Ya know the idiot running into the wall over and over who just can't get out? Yep, that would be me. I need some good ole Mario games where all you can go is in a straight line in a 2D world. I'm special like that.

So now what point am I at? Ah, well now I am at a crossroads. I enjoy watching him play, too much obviously that I stay up just watching.  But, I am also annoyed that I can't sleep through the shooting and my normal bed routine is messed up. I want to lay in bed and fall asleep to a nice murder show like Forensic Files before bed, not listen to the murdering actually happening, over and over.

I don't think it is asking to much to lay in bed and watch TV at say midnight until one or two especially when he starts playing about 5 pm after work. Do you know how many hours Brad has played MW2 since his surgery. Luckily for the sake of my blog the X Box keeps track....216 hours- that is 9 days of Brad's life, and a good portion of mine too just sucked away. It is a good thing Facebook and Blogspot don't have hour timers, I don't want to see my numbers for that or give Brad anything for him to blog about.

At least I have Brad's laptop so I can sit here next to him and blog while he games, how lucky for you...

What Would the World Do Without My Ingenuity?

Tonight Brad and I went on our first date since surgery. He hasn't been up for leaving the house and normally our dates consist of dinner then a movie, ya know the same old, same old "Date Night." So since dinner seemed out of the question and we have streaming Netflix at home from the comfort of our bed, staying in was just convenient.

BUT I NEEDED OUT!!! So we decided Brad could survive a trip for a shake and a movie. Take your nurse out on a date already, geez. While we were driving trying to decide the best place to go for a shake, one that wouldn't be too thick, or have any chunks, a place where maybe they could liquify it just a tad more, ya know the perfect place, well this is when Brad decided to add more confusion to our decision. He now wants soup, but he can't just eat soup, no it has to be completely blended down, no chunks of any kind. This might be tricky. Why didn't we pack the blender. Maybe I just need to break down and buy one of those lil hand blenders so I can carry it a restaurant and just blend his food right there at the table? And you thought the loud talker on his cell phone was annoying!

Big Boy seemed like a good choice. We know they blend their shakes and have soup. Maybe they could blend soup too? I asked our waitress if she could blend soup, I mentioned how Brad could only eat liquids, mouth wired shut and all- yep, not above playing the sympathy card. She was confused and thought I meant blend as in just mixing 2 different soups together. She figured it out after a little more explanation. We lucked out with the sweetest waitress, not only did she blend the soup but she came over several times to check just how blended he needed it. Then came back while we were eating just to check if it was still an okay texture.

There were some ham chunks in it. Brad couldn't just be easy and order chicken noodle,  no he had to go with cream of broccoli with ham chunks in it, ham does not blend well. I guess I can't really blame him, I went with cream of broccoli myself, chicken noodle gets old. And if you recall since I have narcissistic blogs, how sweet am I for sticking with my man and ordering soup with him, ya know instead of a big juicy burger!?  So back to the ham chunks, luckily I am a genius and decided to use a fork as a strainer as we poured the soup from the blending cup into a mug for Brad to drink from. What would the world do without my ingenuity? They'd all have ham chunks stuck in their teeth is what!

We left our wonderful waitress a nice tip and headed to our movie, appropriately named " Date Night." OMG, it is  hilarious. We were laughing so hard Brad's jaws were hurting. It is a great couples movie.

It was a superb night, and though we had to deal with blending soup, hurting jaws from laughing, not being able to really talk, or order popcorn it was a nice little break from all things surgery like it feels here at home...

The Bring This Up Later Plan...Backfires

I keep pushing Brad to get up and get moving. Not necessarily to JUMP back into regular life, but maybe crawl on in.  So at 5 weeks and 3 days he made a step. Unfortunatly for me and my pushy self, telling him he'd feel better if he got up, it did not end well.

He spent the morning working from home, yes in bed. After work he stayed in bed playing video games. The kids and I had dinner then asked him if he'd go sit poolside and help keep an eye on the kids while I swam with them, he agreed. As we were walking out the door he mentioned he was hungry but said he'd eat when we returned home, he is hungry all the time anyways. I offered to blend something and stick it in a bottle to go, and ha ha no, not a baby bottle.

Once we got to the pool he decided he was going to try getting in with us. Not swimming like usual but just floating around.   He was actually far more active then I thought he would be in the pool. I was feeling very good about what a big step this was in his recovery and of course pretty proud of myself for getting him to come along. Yep, I was patting myself on the back thinking how I could bring this swimming trip up later to remind him of just how much he could do and how good he'd feel getting up.

I decided we didn't need to push it and really wear him out , that would really mess with my bring this up later plan, so when it was getting close to an hour in the pool I said it was hot tub/shower/dress/leave time. The boys went off to their locker room and Lucy and I to ours.

This part of the story I wasn't there for...Apparently, Brad laid in the hot tub for about ten minutes. Just his head was out of the water. Then he went to the shower where the problems began. He said he started to feel dizzy, nauseated, light headed and next thing he knew he woke up on the floor. So like any smart man he immmediatly stood up and then guess what, he woke up again on the floor. Luckily he kinda slid down the wall so when he woke up he was kinda sitting with his back against the wall. Can you imagine what could have happened had he fallen on his face? I don't even want to think about it.

Both the boys are with him but in seperate showers. They both saw him fall twice, well they saw his feet pop out from under the shower curtain, but here is the kicker- neither one of them did anything. Apparently I have completely failed at teaching my children how to react in an emergency. I really thought at least Levi had this concept of going to get help down, I mean he has crazy worrier me as a mom. I was sadly mistaken. Levi said Brad was only on the floor for about 10 seconds each time. Maybe if Brad stayed down longer one of them would have went to get help or at least went into Brad's shower to check on him, I'd like to hope so at least.

While Brad is creating his own personal drama in the boys room Lucy and I are blissfully unaware. We beat them out of the locker room so I was wandering around taking care of some school PTO things. I see Brad and he says lets go, but I wasn't quite done so I finished my conversation then met him at the Jeep. This is when he tells me about the fainting and I one, freak out and two, feel like an ass for being slow about leaving.

He still wasn't feeling well and if you have ever blacked out then you might understand the residual blahs that come with it. I used to almost pass out a lot when I was a teenager. I'd get right to where I lose vision but was never completely out and man those incidents would wipe me out for hours. So as soon as we got home I sent him back to bed. Look at me acting like I had to, that is his permanent spot when he is in the house. I made him some food to drink then he went to sleep. He slept for 16 hours. Poor guy.

Okay Brad, you win, you didn't have to be so dramatic about it but fine, stay in bed...

I Brought Home Marmaduke

I'm so not a pet person. So why oh why do I own a dog? Beats me. Well I know why, I was lonely, probably wanting baby number 3 and thought a dog was the perfect solution. I like to watch TV and Brad doesn't so much, the kids are in bed by 7, so of course a cute little dog to keep me company was the answer. Ah did you see that, I said little. There, maybe that is my flaw, I didn't go with little. Nope, I brought home Marmaduke. Ok so he isn't that big but he is no lap dog. I brought home Linus, a 100lb Chocolate Lab.

Linus wasn't 100lbs when we brought him home, he was a teeny 80. At least I had enough sense in me not to bring home a puppy I'd have to train. Linus was about 9 months old and had seemingly went through some training . He knew sit, stay, shake, ya know the basics. Oh and the most paramount, he was house broken.

Ok I get that puppies are cute but I don't see how the cuteness outweighs all the extra work. The yapping, the pee puddles, chewing, biting, did I mention pee puddles? Lady and the Tramp comes to mind, remember just how annoying Lady was when they first got her. Why do we subject ourselves to this?

It is like having a baby I suppose. Anyways, we bring home this screaming, puking, pooping, constantly needing something, baby but at least they outgrow it and I personally see the rewards of having a child and going through all the stages of life as hard as some may be. But a pet, nope I don't see the reward. I guess the problem is that since I am not a pet person so I don't see pets as members of the family. So all this extra work, well it is just annoying.

I keep trying. I really keep trying to like Linus but I just can't. I look at him and I see work. I walk through the kitchen and step in his dog water drooly drips. I try to walk through my backyard but must maneuver through the landmines of a dog that can't just poo in one place. Anywhere I  look down there it is fur, it is everywhere, I think you could drown in it. I have to vacuum every single day and what do I get every day- oh an entire puppy worth of hair. Why would anyone like this? Why would anyone subject themselves to this on purpose?

I blame movies, TV, books, any and all forms of media. Dogs are mans best friend, every kid needs a dog, a dog is the culmination of the average family...just keep pumping this into our heads. You know who believes it- oh all of us. Then we grown ups get a dog and then realize what a farce this is but by then it is too late, either we already have one of these beast and can't get rid of it out of guilt or our kids succumb to the brainwashing and guilt us parents into it.

That is where I am now. Guilt is making me keep Linus. My son loves him. My other son wants to trade him for a fish, man I wish he could talk his brother into it. My daughter well she loves Linus just as much as I do, guess she watches me express my affection for him and follow suit. So what is a mom to do. I suppose my job as a mom is to grin and bare it for my kids. So I am trying, really trying...

The Red Headed Step-Child Dispersion Program

Value packs, whatever... more like torture you packs. Have you ever noticed these value packs that have more then one flavor always give you more of the one nobody wants. It is like the red headed step child dispersion program.

A box of Popsicle- you get 3 red, 3 purple, and 15 orange or green. Yogurt, same thing, 5 strawberry, 5 blueberry, 10 peach. Twenty oatmeal raisin granola bars with only 10 each of chocolate chunk and peanut butter. Chips- oh yep, a few Lays, Doritos, Cheetos and then what? Oh a ton of nobody wants to eat you Fritos. Fritos are so lame that my spell checker doesn't even register it as a word, I think that says it all. I could go on and on with my ridiculous exaggerations but you get the idea right?

Why do companies do this to us? It's all a plan, I'm sure of it. They make these flavors because a small percentage of people like them but it isn't cost effective to make such a small amount so in comes their evil plan. Lets toss them in a box with the flavors people like and make these value packs the most cost effective way to buy. Then we will make the pictures of the good flavors BIG and with very small numbers tell the flavor counts, that is if we have to mention the contents.

Maybe my family is just odd. Maybe with our group of 5, there should be someone who likes all those off flavors. If one of them did, man oh man would they be lucking out in the junk food department!

But guess what Mr. Corporation, I have my own evil plan. I make the kids choke down the reject snacks before I'll buy more. I eat the good stuff and when it comes down to green popsicles, peach yogurt, and Fritos- oh it is all on them. Plus, for right now, I'm taller then them. Yep, when supplies are getting low I can just stick some of the good stuff on a higher, you can't see me you shorties, shelf!

Or there is always the second evil plan to rid my cupboards of the reject snacks " what I am responsible for snack at chess club today? Oh well looky here, I have a big ol' bag of Fritos for ya!"

He is Not Quite Ready For Kindergarten Yet.

So April 12 has come and gone and did my darling Brad go back to work. Yes and no. Yes, he is working. No, he isn't at work.

As I predicted he was not quite ready to return to work. My sweet baby is still in the preschool stage not quite ready to be a big Kindergartner and go off on his own. I wonder when he does go if he will need to ride the short bus? He is drooling a lot and yesterday he drooled on his laptop keyboard and put it on the fritz, had to order a new. But maybe it wasn't the drool, maybe the keyboard is revolting. It has been getting a ton more use these days.

Anyways, Monday, April 12, he already knew he would be working from home. His short weekend trips to his parent's house and to sit poolside while the kids and I swam wore him out. He did manage to wake up before noon though! It was a  little after 8, three snooze hits after 8 to be exact, he got up and went to work. He had a long journey- all the way to the basement. Man, he hasn't been down here in ages compared to his normal computer time!

He actually sat at his desk working all day, instant messaging and emailing instead of phone conversations. But by 4, he was done in. I think he worked until 5 but after that it was off to bed, his face was swelling and bothering him. So there he sat the rest of the evening, not sleeping, just gaming, but reclining none the less.

So Tuesday's work day... well here is how he is working.

Yes, even after sending him back to work I STILL can't get him out of bed! I think he and the bed have formed some weird bond that nothing can break. He has even skipped a few showers so the bed's nose must be more broke then mine because wow, it should so be kicking him out.


I'm not allowed to open the blinds or turn the bedroom light on either though. He is comfy in his dark cave. Apparently he doesn't realize that hibernation time is over- it is spring this is when the bears leave the cave! Nope, this is his winter I suppose...how many months to bears hibernate because I don't know how much longer I can take it! Yes, it is all about ME!

I love my husband but him being here is really messing with my normal schedule. Lucy and I lay in bed all morning, it is our thing but now he is there working. Granted today it was nice because I slept while he answered all of Lucy's never ending questions but I have a feeling cranky work Brad will start kicking in earlier and earlier until he kicks me out of bed as soon as Lucy is up and in our room.

Also, with him using the wireless connection to work from bed, well I can't use the phone. I need to talk to an adult during the day. It keeps me sane! But our phones and internet interfere with each other so if I am on the phone he can't connect into work.

And the cranky work Brad I mentioned... oh yeah, don't try to ask him a question- sorry no, he can't be bothered, not for one little second.  The phone rang yesterday FOR HIM! I took it to him and get complains to me because he lost his internet connection when I brought him HIS call!

He says his pain is gone so I don't know what it is, I can't fathom what would keep someone in bed for so long if it doesn't hurt. He says he is uncomfortable. Well, I've been there, for 27 months I was uncomfortable but I didn't lock myself in a dark room.

I want to see an improvement in this week but if he doesn't get up and do somethign I doubt there will be... I think he is stuck in a funk and I have no idea how to pull him out.... this is one time I wish I wasn't right and he was actually in the office, living life again.

Not a True Blog- need some ideas!!!

I'm running Teacher Appreciation week for both of the boys schools. So I am just doing the same thing at both schools to make planning easier!

So my Theme is Survivor- Teacher Edition

Mon- "fire" we are giving them small citronella candles that come in a like a flower pot shaped holder. I need a fun quote/poem/saying about teachers being the fire for kids kinda thing

Tues- "Water" They are all getting aluminum water bottles- again I need a quote/poem/saying- water/life for our kids

Wed- "comfort" they have a staff meeting in the morning before school so I am getting a breakfast together for them

Thursday- " Letters from home" we are collecting letters wrote to all the staff from kids to be handed out this day

Fri- "Merger" You've merged as a great team for our kids- catering in a lunch


I want to do a quick small challenge in the teachers lounge every day with a small (CHEAP) Prize... I need some ideas I was thinking...
1. Build a desk out of supplies give crayons, TP rolls, yarn. stapler, glue, cardboard then they are judged.
2. Guess amount of chalk pieces in a jar
3. a puzzle of some sort
4. a "physical" challenge like balance something on your nose set the time and write times down, longest wins- but that and where to balance it?
5. No IDEA! A food challenge perhaps?

Ideas for prizes???
1. case of bottled water?
2. "tools" Desk supplies- pen, markers, paper clips
3. Food- like cupcakes, frozen dinner
4. Something to be fun like a "fishing kit" but how to play on that?
5. An " immunity Idol" something that can be in their classroom?

The Stranger in My Bed

Do you hear that? Neither do I!

There is a strange silence in my house these days, er I mean nights. Sleeping with Brad is a whole new experience.  From our very first night together sometime in March of 2002 until March 11, 2010 it was nearly the same, well gradually getting worse as the years went by. Him fighting to breath while he slept and me fighting to sleep through the noise.

Now all I hear is breathing, I can't tell if it is the dog or Brad unless I pick my head up off the pillow. And for the record it is both, they both exhale nearly the exact same way, I'll keep some comments to myself (this one time) about other similarities!

Usually when it was that quiet it meant Brad wasn't breathing and I got, I mean had to hit him. The silence of before was always quickly followed by a loud snore gasping for air, and a chest caving bed shake and a sinking in my heart of what this health problem held in store for our future together, one I want to be long.

Once my eyes are accustom to the darkness and I can see Brad's profile, there is another shock. His face is different. It is not the same profile I once shared a bed with. Great, now I'm a cheater. I have found a quieter similarly looking Brad replacement. Maybe this new face will send us back to those first magical times when you first meet and everything is new and exciting.

Actually, I am kinda hopeful it will. I mean I really am getting a whole new person here. Think back to say when you had your first child. Just how sleep deprived you were. How you slacked on everything, napped when you could, how you could not have cared less when you left the house looking like a homeless person. Well in a way that is how Brad has been for most of his adult life. Dragging himself through just waiting for the next time he could TRY to sleep. Our typical day consisted of him struggling to wake up and get out the door for work. Him working but being so tired. Home for dinner then he'd collapse on the couch and sleep a couple of hours. He'd wake up when the kids were already in bed. Then we'd watch some TV or mess around online until it was back to bed. A family outing- not really happening without some pushing. He had become a couch potato, and who wouldn't?

Plus, his sleep apnea caused other health problems, he needed to lose weight, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. We aren't sure what his cholesterol is like but he has already lost a ton of weight, his blood pressure is under control, and he hasn't been taking his medication for that either.

So yes, I am hopeful that I am now with a new man. One that sleeps at night and wakes up refreshed. One that is only as tired as the rest of us! Oh the projects around the house Brad has waiting for him! And no more homebody, can't go anywhere Brad. Nope, we are doing stuff!

This getting to sleep next to a quiet person is still very odd. Some nights I cry because I am just so happy for him, for us. Other times I have to check and see if he is dead because I just can not believe the difference. The one thing I'll miss...now I don't get, er I mean have to hit him....lol.... I love you Bradley!

Baby Steps

Well step by step Brad is making improvements. Definitely baby steps not the normal giant person Brad steps.

At the 3 week mark, to the day Brad finally drank out of a cup vs syringe and tube. This was HUGE for me, and him too I guess! One for the baby book indeed! I had been asking him to try the big boy cup every couple of days but Brad kept assuring me he couldn't do it. Maybe it was more like why bother, you feeding me my every meal is quite nice. Babies don't like to have their bottles taken away ya know.

When he did drink it was kind of "forced" on him. A work friend came over and was chatting but Brad was hungry. He just didn't want to do the syringe feeding with her there so he grabbed the cup and took a drink! Woo Hoo! He has to hold his lip a little since he still doesn't have feeling in it but hey it works! It has made eating a lot less of a hassle for both of us. I know he was very  happy with this discovery.

The dietitian at the hospital told us Brad should be able to drink from a cup around the one week mark, so he went an extra two in true Brad form! She also said a small rim cup would work best. I tried to tell Brad this but he insisted at first that no cup would work then later that the cup he originally drank from (an adult normal rimmed one) was just fine. Then  I brought him a Gatorade bottle to drink- he commented on how much easier it was to drink out of that- imagine that a small rimmed cup is easier, who would have thunk it! Why oh why does he continue to doubt me and my awesome always rightness?! Once he began drinking from a cup my life got a little easier!

At 3 weeks and 5 days I finally drug him out of the house for something other then a Dr appt. We took the kids to see a movie. He was trying to get out of it- Oh my stomach hurts, I just don't know if I can, my ear hurts.... It took a little guilt tripping (my specialty!) with some huffing and puffing added in but I got him out FINALLY! Seriously like sitting in a chair at the movie theater is that much more work then sitting in your bed or on our couch!

When he was getting dressed to go we discovered his pants no longer fit! Bye Bye 38in waist hello 32! Well I don't actually know what his waist is but I'd guess smaller then 36. Yay Brad! You are now not the same length around as you are high (leg length that is!)

At the 4 week mark he finally started getting out of bed on a regular basis and somewhat participating with the living world again (other then the online living world). His face is swelling a bit but that is still expected. The day of the movie his ears were bothering him amplifying every sound inside his body but that went away later that night.

He tucked the kids in for the first time in a month. Has let the dog out. Brad now warms his own food up too (but still doesn't take care of his dishes, something just will never change).

He has been medicating himself since about the 3 week mark as well. He is still taking the occasional Motrin for swelling and pain. He has Tylenol with codeine now instead of the Oxy, a medicated mouthwash to fight off bacteria, and another Rx mouthwash (called Magic Mouthwash) to help numb the sores on his tongue from the wires in his mouth. I no longer have to set a timer and remind him when he needs his next dose.

Monday he is supposed to return to work. I still don't see that happening. Today I had him go to SAMS Club with me. That wore him out and only took maybe 2 hours (the kids ate pizza there then we stopped on the way home for ice cream). Plus he sat in the car while the kids and I had ice cream.

I think Monday he will work, from home, not in the office. Talking is still bothering him as well. He has worked a little from home in the last couple of days but anytime someone needs to talk with him they have been IMing or emailing.

Oh and seeing him up before noon- that will be a shock to his system as well! Sorry Brad with no more sleep apnea you have no excuse for having to sleep until 2pm (unless I get to sleep until noon too, then it is totally acceptable!) He keeps saying he has insomnia- nope you have yousleptalldayfcourseyoucan'tsleepatnight-ia!

I still don't have the end of this in sight but at least it is getting easier. My newborn has made it through those years, perhaps even through the toddler years, I'd  say we are at Preschool level now! Oh no! I just thought...what do the teen years have in store for me?!

Wyatt's Spinal Tap

So here is a not about sleep apnea surgery blog...

My poor Wyatt. I blogged before about his neck pain whining. Well he had a rough night. I think the neck pain really is from playing too much DSi BUT by the evening he was suddenly puking and spiking a 102 temp.

I don't think I am a run my kid to the Dr every time they are sick parent, so a lil puke and a fever, no biggie we will deal. The neck pain on top of the other symptoms is what had me worried and apparently rightfully so.

I called our Dr. She sent us to the After Hours Clinic. On the drive there I turned a round and Wyatt was out cold. We'd only been in the car a couple of mins so this scared me. I called his name. His eyes popped open then right back closed. I was trying to wake him up because this behavior just isn't like him even when he is sick. Luckily we live about 5 mins from the after hours clinic so I didn't have to be in the front seat away from him for too long.

I had to carry him in, he didn't want to wake up. I set him in a chair to fill out paperwork and he slept. I picked him up when I was done and he still slept. When it was our turn the nurse took his temp and then he started puking again.

When the Dr came in he tried to get him to move his head, he wouldn't and the ways he would move it he would cringe and cry in pain. The Dr decided we needed to go to the ER. He wrote us a note and said it would help us get in faster, it didn't.

Again Wyatt was sleeping on the way to the ER, it was still freaking me out. I had to carry him into the hospital so I left the puke basin in the car figuring they would have something inside for him anyways. We had to stop in the parking lot for him to puke.

After we signed in they took his temp and blood pressure right away and he got a stuffed bear. He also had to wear a face mask Then it was time to sit and wait. We waited and waited and waited. When we got there only 4 other families were in the waiting room, I thought this was a good sign and was surprised with it being a Monday after a holiday. A woman came around to check our ins info. Then someone else called our name, for a blood draw...

Wyatt has a needle phobia. It took four people to do his shots for kindergarten, seriously. I told the woman we were going to need a hand. She acted put out and asked why I couldn't just hold him myself but found someone anyways. You know how crazy strong kids get when they are scared. Well I didn't want to be the one responsible when I couldn't hold all of him at once while she has a needle in his arm. Wyatt was screaming before the needle even went in. Once it was in he calmed down. I think he realized it didn't hurt like he thought it would.

Then it was back to waiting. Wyatt was laying with is head on my lap this whole time. He puked just one more time. I think we got to the ER about 8:30, it was 11:30 when they took us back to our own room.

Our nurse was very friendly, Nichole. Soon an intern came in, asked what was going on and examined Wyatt. He said he'd go talk with the attending and be back in. The Dr came in and re-examined Wyatt. Wyatt was not enjoying any of the examination so when the whole thing had to be repeated he told the Dr. " he just did this!" with quite an annoyed tone. Really he was just in a lot of pain. They were asking him to touch his chin to his chest and bring his knees to his chin- things he couldn't do without a lot of pain. He wouldn't turn his head to the right at all. Dr said his lymps in his neck were swollen as well.

The Drs wanted to find something so they could call it that and not have to test for spinal meningitis. The only test for that is a spinal tap. So they put in an IV to pump fluids and start antibiotics just in case it was S.M. (Wyatt did shockingly well with the IV too, only a lil screaming and 2 nurses) They also checked his urine and ordered a chest X-ray. All of those test came back clean.

My heart was so sad when the Dr came in and said they had to do a spinal tap, it was all that was left and if it was S.M. they need to know and get things moving quickly. So he went over the risks and how the procedure would happen. Then I had to sign the consent form. I had known all along this was coming, well not the whole time. I had really thought the after hours Dr would send us home. Then I thought the ER Drs would just have him bend a few ways, say it was the flu and send us home. But once all the testing started and I could feel they were concerned then I knew it was coming. I still wasn't prepared mentally/emotionally but how can you be when you know it is painful and just how scared of needles Wyatt is, and he is my baby, I don't want to say ok hurt my baby. Plus, he has to be a lone with strangers awake when it is happening.

I'm by myself here too. Brad is at home still recovering from surgery. Levi is with him in case he needs anything and Lucy was with my Mother in Law.  I am used to Brad and I making these kind of decisions together but I knew it was what we/I had to do.

We woke Wyatt up and kind of explained what was going to happen. They gave him a drug they called an amnesia medicine. They said he wouldn't remember the pain with it. But it didn't take the pain away. I stayed with him while they prepped his back and the drug kicked in. He didn't want me to go but I had to. Right before they started I had to step out into the hall way. The spinal tap was done right in his ER room.

I stood outside his door crying while I listened to his screaming. I had to keep my crying restrained though because I didn't know how long the procedure would take and I didn't want to go back in the room and him see me with a crying face. He didn't scream as much as I thought he might but it still wasn't like it was a pleasant experience.

When it was over I was allowed back in, it only took a few minutes. I could tell that the amnesia meds had already worked. He didn't say too much about the spinal tap and was done crying. As promised he got a popsicle afterward.

They started another bag of antibiotics. Then I crawled in bed with him while he slept the next hour of waiting away. I of course couldn't sleep. I was worried about Wyatt, my head was pounding, I was starving, and freezing ( I had a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops on a trip to the hospital was not what I thought would happen!)

Then relief! The intern came in and said the test was negative. He was being sent home. They decided that it was just a bug of some sort, the neck pain could be from it or it could just be a coincidence and the neck pain is from playing too much DSi in a weird position.

Nichole pulled his IV out while he was still asleep. When he woke up he was relieved and shocked to see it gone. We paid our ridiculously high co-pay and headed home- it was 3am!

This morning I woke up to Wyatt telling his war story to Levi. He seemed like our normal Wyatt. He asked if he could drink and eat, I told him small sips and little bites. He hasn't had a big appetite today but he has ate. His neck is still hurting him, though I think it isn't nearly as bad. But now he has a new problem, his back hurts form the spinal tap. I've been giving him tylenol and motrin throughout the day. We went to see a movie and I noticed he is walking a lil funny, like he is in pain. So we took it easy all day and are hopeful tomorrow morning he will feel better.


A few lil funny things-

Wyatt likes to makeup "rules" as to why things happen. He drank propel and didn't puke, then he drank a juice box and puked so he decided he cant drink juice. He kept telling me all these what he can and can't drink and how much and when rules he had formulated based on his puking/drinking/eating experience throughout the day.

A woman Charlay (or somethign like that) was called Wyatt suddenly sat up and said "Strawberries!" then laid down, I asked him what he was talking about and he mumbled oh I thought I heard someone say strawberries.

The Dr told him to say Ahhhh for lik the 10th time and the tone behind his ahhh was so funny!

At 3am on the way home he started talking nonsense in the car. Something about counting to 3 and pulling a wire.

I was freezing so I swiped a pair of hospital socks- to wear with my flip flops!

The Life Sucking Bed Disease

Brad's inability to get out of bed is spreading- hurry stay away or all the life will be sucked from you! It must be the bed, it gets lonely all day and now realizes how nice it is to have warm bodies in it 24/7. Now it is on a mission to stay full at all times. I think only men are at danger of catching the life suker disease though.

Wyatt, Brad's mini-me, has gotten to close to the bed and the disease has spread. He hurt his neck playing too much DSi (yet another life sucker). So now what is he doing? Oh he is whining for pain meds telling me how he has to lay in bed with dad all day.

I made the mistake of telling Wyatt get up for dinner, oh good lord! Not that dinner is every a pleasureable experince with the world's pickiest eater but tonight was just rediculous. Ya know what the problem is tonight, it wasn't that he didn't like his food. Oh no, it is that he thinks he can only eat soft foods now...due to the neck pain of course. Gee, I have no idea where he gets the "lets milk this for all it is worth" gene.

There is one more boy left in the house for life suker to spread to. Luckily he is out with friends.

I know there is probably more to the story and really it is just Wyatt missing Brad and wanting to spend time with him...but can't the whining part of it be left out, I'm just so spent!

I wonder what the cure is...amputation isn't really an option, I like my bed (in moderation) maybe if I don't change the sheets the smell of 24/7 Brad will kill the life sucker germs. But then I'll have to sleep on the couch for a while....hmmmm.....

Look Monkey Push Button, Good Monkey!

Brad's HR lady sent his FMLA papers back saying she needed a retun to work date from the Drs. So when we were at his appt. I asked Dr. Ghetto Braces (yep that is the name I am giving him)  if he could write a note or something. So he takes the paper and writes 6 weeks on it. I ask him to at least sign it- oh I get a loopy X on it. Seriously, I could have forged that. How can I give this to her and call it good?

Before he wrote six weeks he asked Brad what he does. Brad gave the normal "I work with computers" answer. Which yes, he "works with computers" but it is a bit more then he makes it sound. I guess I just "hang around the house" for my job with that logic.
Dr. Ghetto Braces says " You can't work on computers like this? You need 6 weeks not just 4?" So I have to say he doesn't just "work on computers" he is the network admin, it is a tad more then just sitting at his desk pushing some buttons. Seriously the tone Dr. Braces had was like Brad had George Jetson's job- go in and push the red button, job done! Not to mention I just told him the man hasn't got out of bed for the past 2 1/2 weeks does he think Brad is recovering ahead of schedule?

Brad's original plan was to take 4 weeks off. So now I have to call the HR lady. I asked Brad when he was going back towork. His answer-at the four week mark. Now trust me I want him to go back to work. Not because I want him gone but becasue I want him to feel good enough to go. Well, one less gigantic kid in the house is a plus too! BUT, seriously in one week you are going to miraculiously go from unable to get out of bed other then to walk to the bathroom to working an 8 hour day? If it was myself, or maybe any woman on the planet I'd belive it no problem, but sorry honey not you. I would love for you to prove me wrong on this one, remember one day it will actually happen for you, maybe this is your day!?

Well, I called the HR lady and told her he'd be back tenitively April 12. His 4 week mark falls on a Thursday so I gave him over that weekend for a few extra days.

Here is why I just don't see the 4 week mark happening. I'm oviously not writing these blogs on the days the events happened but today is 3 weeks and 3 days post op. Brad has hit a set back it seems. The ear pain and this new sore on his tongue are knocking him back and he wasn't up very far to begin with. The tongue is especailly problematic. We can't see his tongue at all. No way to see what is going on or apply anything directly to it. Stupid me didn't put it together that if there are wires wrapped around the front of his teeth that means they are around the back too. I'm going to blame it on sleep deprivation I am not that slow I sware! Anyways, apparently the wires have irritated his tongue.

I guess there is a plus side, he can't talk, it hurts too bad. So now would be the perfect time to drive him somewhere huh? No comments! No, really I miss talking with Brad. Talking to him isn't the same as talking with him. Though he (and anyone who knows me) would probably argue that it isn't much different, I don't let others get a word in too often anyways. But not being able to talk at work, don't know how that will be possible. I guess that is a plus too, having an excuse to not chat with all those annoying people (Hey Brad's fellow collegues, how ya doing? Of course YOU aren't the people I am talking about. lol). I guess he can just IM or email.

Really I do see Brad possibly going back to work on April 12, but from home not in the office. And not downstairs at his desk but in bed on the laptop. I don't know, I guess in a week we will see! Oh and that loopy X signature, yep not cutting it. Tomorrow I get to call U of M and try to get a return to work paper faxed, man I hope that is easier then getting a Rx filled, probably not... so maybe he won't be allowed back anyways!

Oh look you got your big boys pants on all by yourself!

18 days after Brad's surgery we finally had his first post-op appt.

We had the normally hurry up and wait experience. I made sure to pack Brad's "diaper bag." When you have a baby you can't leave the house without one! I packed his meds, some baby food, juice, carnation packets, his syringe and tube, and chap stick. What did I forget- oh just the special cutters they gave us to cut Brad's bands should he have an airway emergency, ya know the ones they told us to keep on hand at all times. So nothing important at all...

This was Brad's first outing. Seeing him in clothes was shocking, I had forgotten what he looked like with pants on and not laying in bed! This was his first real significant movement of any kind. I was not sure how it would go. He has been complaining a lot about temperature regulation issues, getting very tired and sore after just very small movements.

I was not excited for the drive there or back. I drugged him right before we left. Whenever Brad, or anyone really, is in the car with me and I am driving I feel so judged, like my every move is critiqued. Brad is really the worst one, I usually just let him drive (and then critique his driving!) So this feeling is amplified because I know he is in pain. Now every bump I hit, every car that pulls in front of me and makes me break, just everything is messing with my nerves. Seriously not even 10 mins into the drive we are yelling at each other (well the best Brad can yell)- and we don't yell, we very rarely fight about anything but I went to switch lanes a car was in my blind spot, I guess I jerked the jeep a lil, I scared Brad, he asked what I was doing, I took the defensive route and got all huffy, he got huffy back... ya know just a great start to our drive!

Luckily Brad didn't feel like talking so no more comments were made and the rest of our drive was uneventful, well uneventful in the car I can't even tell you the amount of idiots that cut me off and made me shut my cruise off- grrrr...

But this post isn't about the drive, it is about the appointment so maybe I should get to that....

I dropped Brad off at the front door, then parked and met him in the lobby. He was thinking he didn't have enough energy to walk from the parking ramp in. We made it to the Oral Surgery Office and checked in. Rather quickly we were taken back to a room. Brad got the pimp dental chair to sit in. It reclined so he was all set. He was just done drooling on himself by now- the walk in, the waiting room time- all drool time for Brad.

The procedure room really should be called the waiting room because this is where we did all the waiting! Finally about an hour after our scheduled appt time a Dr came in, well a resident I guess, I don't know the difference. He was one I remembered from surgery day. I like him, he was the "ghetto braces" coiner. He asked how things were going, gave Brad a quick look over, then left. Next Dr.Tucan came in- that isn't his name but that is what I am going with because his name sounds like that and I think it is a better name anyways, makes one think of yummy colorful fruit loops not jaw sawing pain! So anyways, Dr. Tucan asked the same questions. And guess what?! Our answers were the same! Brad had a list of questions/concerns so we made sure to go over those.

Chin pain - it is normal and a good sign that nerves are regenerating
Ear Pain- again normal, have fun dealing with that
Bands- apparently I have been doing a good job replacing them. In 4 weeks he comes back they will either leave those bands on or switch him to looser ones but they are not coming off. Wow, that is a lil shocker, we thought 6 weeks and bands were off!
Sleeping- Brad wanted to stop sleeping on a wedge and wondered if sleeping on his face was ok. The Dr said yes he could lay flat once again and sleeping on the side of his face was fine.

I mentioned that Brad wasn't really getting out of bed hoping they would tell him to get his bootie UP! They kinda told him he should get up and get moving but guess what they are men- and I think you men have a lil code- a lets all pretend like we are dying when we are even just a little sick or hurt because if we all do it maybe those women folk will just believe that really sickness/pain is just harder on our gender code.@@ you annoying baby men!

I also had to complain just a little at the end of the appt, I was very nice about it but U of M has been stressing me out. So I nicely told the Dr that maybe he wasn't aware but when they discharge patients on a Sunday they may want to make sure they fill their Rx at the hospital pharmacy and tell the patients that not every pharmacy carries Oxycodone. He kinda listened to me but doubtful it will sink in.

So the Summery is that everything looks great. Swelling will take a few more weeks to go completely down. The numbness can last a few more months to possibly forever but usually by about 6 months feeling in face returns. We go back in 4 more weeks to see how everything is healing and to possibly get looser bands.

We got a few more syringes and bands then went on our way. Brad actually walked all the way out to the Jeep in the ramp. Then he slept on the way home. Out of his jeans and back to bed once we were home... I've forgotten what my husband looks like dressed... Once he does get up and get dressed I bet his clothes don't fit... I think he is about 20 lbs down by now...

Complaints and How We Deal

The complaints and how we deal-

Swelling- we found that 1/2 a dose of motrin every 3 hours keeps the swelling down better then a full dose every 6. Granted drugging every 3 hours is a pain in the butt! Also, a warm rice bag applied to the face.

Drooling- Keeping in a reclined position, bringing a wash cloth or hand towel every where you go. We read about people carrying a cup to spit in, Brad hasn't wanted to do this but he spits in the sink constanatly when he is up walking around.

Pain- staggering two pain meds, heated rice bag. Keeping up on meds- not waiting until the pain comes to take it. Once you are in pain it is harder to get rid of it.

Ear Pain and Shooting Nerve Regeneration Pain- We are having a hard time finding relief of these pains. He is taking motrin and occasionally Oxycodone if it is really bad but it seems as though they are pains he just has to deal with. I try to remind him the nerve pain is a good sign that feeling will return.

Boredom- Well we have a TV in our room with streaming Netflix, cable, and an XBox 360. We also have wireless internet and a lap top!

Depression- I personally keep telling Brad how cute he is. Right off the bat I could tell he was depressed about how he looked, calling himself a monster. As the swelling has subsided I have just had cute names for him. First he was a cute fat kid, then a cute lil squirrel, now he is the joker...ok so maybe they aren't all cutesy nice but it is how our relationship works and he knows it- only true love can make fun of you!

Really depression is something I have been worried about and have been trying to keep at bay. I have tried to get him out of bed even when he doesn't want to. Every day I open the blinds. I make sure the kids don't completely ignore him. His friends and family have been over to visit. Change up his meals so he doesn't feel like he has to drink the same gross thing every day for the rest of his life (he doesn't see this no eating thing ending anytime soon so to him it is forever!)

Pain From Wires- keeping his mouth clean with the Rx rinse and salt water and Dental Wax placed on the extra bothersome wires.

Teeth Cleaning- I had to help with this in the beginning. I'd use Q-tips, toothpicks, and a child size tooth brush. Now he takes care of most of it with his mouth rinses and the small tooth brush.

Broken Band Replacement- The Hospital gave us scissor like tweezers, I use those and a Q-tip. The second utensil helps slip it around the hook easier. Brad also holds his lips up for me. This is still hard to do because it hurts to move his lips to high or low.

Eating- We moved the tube insertion point to the front of his teeth instead of the back of his mouth, this is quicker and also saves bands from breaking. The syringes the hospital provided last about 2 days after being rinsed after every use but then the plastic expands/retracts and you just can't use them easily. Diplomat sells the 60ml syringes for $1 each. I found a cup I was thinking might be very useful ( if you can stick the tube in the front of your mouth like Brad- well you might be able to attach a tube) It is a squeeze bottle made for filling communion cups- Squeeze cup link

At week Three Brad discovered he can drink from a cup. A small rimmed cup works well. He has to hold his bottom lip up but wow eating is so much faster!

and now to my complaints....

Constant Blending- Man I hate washing that Blender! What a PITA! So I borrowed a blender from a friend so I have 2. I also spent a day blending about 20 meals worth of food. That way I could just rinse the blender in between blends. I put one serving in a zip lock then laid them flat to freeze. I also have been buying baby food. Ones and Twos do not have to be blended just mixed with juice, water, milk, gravy...and warmed.

Feeding- One of Brad's friends bought Brad a tray and a bell- both have been very handy. The tray is wonderful for carrying meals to and from the kitchen. I serve everything in cups, sometimes soup in a large bowl. The bell as annoying as it can be, is a great way to know when Brad needs something and I am not close by since he can't really yell for me.

I also pulled a shelving unit out of my garage to store all Brad's new foods on. That way they are all in one place for me to look over and find somethign for him to eat. Plus I don't have room in my cupboards for all the cans of soup and baby food. I tried to talk a few friends into rearranging my cupboards for me so all of  it could fit... couldn't sell them on it- bummer!

Drugging- I keep a notebook on a tray with his drugs. At the top is the drugs, dosage, and hours between. Then I write the times I administer it. I also have a timer on the tray so as soon as I give him the meds I reset the timer for the next dosage. During the night I load up the next dose into the syringe so it is less work in the middle of the night.

Sleeping- Oh so sleep deprived, really like I have a newborn. I just try to sleep whenever I can because there is no sleeping for longer then 3 hours in a row around here for me! I bought a new movie for the kids so I could nap on the couch while they watched it. Pulled out some old/new toys from the basement to entertain them.

The Moaning in Pain- Oh I just try to make it stop the best I can and try not to let it annoy me. Back rubs, encouraging him, and then ya know that thing that heals all men and takes their mind off of pain (wink wink).

Stress- I've had people helping me out with the kids, I've definitely needed it. I happen to have a Rx for Xanax from a heart condition I have so I've taken a few of those. Brad has still taken time to care for me when he can. Last night he rubbed my back until I fell asleep. Sometimes even when I need to sleep I go downstairs when everyone else is sleeping and just have a little alone time. My friends and church made us dinner for the first two weeks home. Not having to worry about cooking dinner or grocery shopping was spectacular! If you don't have a support system like this I recommend freezing some meals for the rest of your family. I recommend blending meals prior to surgery for your partner as well. I decided my house doesn't have to be as clean as it always is. It isn't dirty gross but it isn't as kept up as I usually like it. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. And have an outlet. I know I can't complain to Brad and don't want to, I don't want him to feel any worse so my friends have been great at listening to me when I need to whine.

I Should Not Have Said Just Lay There and Recover!

The swelling, oh the swelling. Don't forget drooling, oh the drooling. These are the reasons Brad can't get up. Oh and lets add pain, oh the pain!

In the hospital the Drs told us if he was up and moving around recovery would come faster. Walking around was one of the criteria for release. The sooner he got back into a normal swing of things the sooner he'd start to feel better. So let me spell this out- you won't feel good but get up and walk around then you will feel better faster. That is what it means to you right? Well that is not what it means to Brad. He apparently took it to mean when you feel better get up. Until then just lay in bed.

So here is my problem am I the loving caring wife or the mean nurse? Walking the thin line between those two is very hard. I keep slipping from one side to another. I feel horrible for Brad. I know he is in severe pain. I know when you don't feel good you don't want to get up. But I also know that getting up and moving helps you get better faster, well as long as you aren't over doing it. Trust me Brad is not over doing it. If under doing it was a real phrase that is what I would use, look I just did!

He keeps telling me I just don't know how bad it is. But I do try to understand. I went online and read about 8 blogs from others who have undergone this surgery. All of them were up doing something by the 2 week mark. Brad just lays in bed all day. Maybe a shower. Maybe a couple hours on the couch, maybe.

You know how when you sleep too long you are still tired when you do finally get up. Well that is the vicious cycle my sweet Brad has found himself in but he can't seem to break it. Right now it feels to me like he can't even tell this is the cycle he is in.

Men and woman definitely deal with sickness/injury differently. I know I personally can barely stand to stay in bed even when I am miserable, even when I want to. All I can think about is what I need to do and am in a hurry to get back to normal life. Women vacuum with fevers, chase kids with pounding headaches, and grocery shop while nauseated. Men, well men just can't. I swear a splinter requires a nap to recover from.

So anyways, when I push Brad to get up he gets mad at me. So what is a girl to do? I was hoping the Drs at his post-op appt would tell him to GET UP! But they didn't...I should have known...they are men too!