I miss my dad. I miss him a lot. Spring seems to make it kick in, all the motorcycles come out and that is something that is just so intertwined in my memories of him. And no, not just because that is how he died, on a bike. It is just too many little memories.
One of the main memories is hearing his bike coming down the road at night when I was little (and really even when I was big too). I just remember being so excited at that rumbling sound getting closer and closer. In the summer time when I was 5 or 6, he worked 3rd shift so the nightly routine was to watch Car 54 Where Are You? on Nick at Night. Right when it was about to end then the best sound would start, the rumbling. Running out to greet him, hugging him. The smell of leather and exhaust...it was my heaven, my haven, my safe place. As I got older I didn't act as excited to hear his bike coming down the road but secretly I was. It would take forever for him to get his bike all locked up and covered, on the days when the June Bugs kept me from going out to greet him I'd go crazy just waiting for him to come in, hurry up already!
The things that make me think of him change as time goes on. I think motorcycles will always stay but then there are odd things. Lately, it has been old men mowing their lawns. I promise you that if he were alive and old men mowing their lawns made me think of him, oh that would so be a joke between us! Especially with all the gray hair I am certain he'd have by now. Oh the old man jokes, they might just be never ending. But he doesn't get a chance to be old. We'll never know what he'd look like as an old man. That is the reason these old men on lawn mowers are getting to me, because I know he will never be one.
Wow, I'm super depressing here. But you should know not all memories of him depress me. Really I think more about the funny stuff now vs the pain of losing him. We had a lot of little things that were "ours" kinda like our inside jokes, though not necessarily jokes.
One of my favorites is " but then, tragically..." this is how it works and you should try it out because frankly, it's funny! You are watching a show and something happy just happened, say someone just got a new car they are excited and telling someone- this is where you cut in with " then tragically....and come up with some great scenario that fits in humorously with whatever has been going on...irony, that a makes great "but then, tragically!" You can start out with something other then "but then, tragically" Something like " then, in a strange twist of fate, suddenly, without notice, unexpectedly..."
It is also hilarious, to those of us with twisted humor to say " but then, tragically..." at the most inappropriate time.... "The cat was rescued from the tree... but then tragically, the firetruck ran it over on the way back to the station...." Okay, so that isn't the best example but it is hard to come up with one here on the spot. Really you need to be watching some uplifting show and here I am listening to Intervention as I type this. That whole show is But then, tragically... can't really make fun of that!
Brad and I now keep up this fine family tradition... I hope my kids have our same sense of humor. Bad stuff happens, we all have "But then, tragically...." in our lives. So ya might as well laugh when it isn't you and it is made up right?!
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