I got lost today. Where? Oh, in a locker room. Why? Because I apparently am an idiot!
We took the kids to a Rec Center pool today for Wyatt's birthday party (not an official invite everyone party but his party none the less since he opted for a pricey present instead of the party with a bunch of friends) I get off topic easily so let me get back... We've never been to this Rec Center before. One other family met us for this party. The guys headed into the guys locker room and the girls to the girls (or so I thought).
As soon as we entered the locker room there was a row of lockers to your left and changing rooms to your right. If you kept heading forward you'd wind around past the bathrooms and out to the pool. While in the changing room I read a sign, "Clothes must be worn outside of changing room at all times." Well duh?! I mean really, people who walk around locker rooms naked- sorry I just don't get you. Okay, well maybe if I had an awesome body after popping out these three kids, I might just want to be like ha ha ladies look at these boobies, they are real, and see this flat stretch mark free belly, oh yeah- and I eat junk food too! But nah, probably not even if I had that. I just can't see myself as a locker room streaker. Especially with this saggy, stretch mark covered body. No one wants or needs to see it. Especially the young and child-free, lets let them imagine their body will still be the same after they get a little older and have some kids! plus who are the locker room streakers? The people that should not be, that's who!
But back to what else I was thinking after reading the sign, wow, they must be strict about the locker room streakers, wonder why, most locker rooms are just a nudists havens. I wonder why so strict here? Seems odd.
Then another oddity that still isn't cluing me in on where I am. When I walk out of the dressing room a male employee is just walking around in there. I even told my friend, wow that was really weird a guy was just in here. I mean I know it says to keep your clothes on but come on, even though I am anti-nudist, I've quickly slipped a shirt on or off when the room was empty, so why would they let a guy into the Woman's locker room? Really? No female employees?
The lockers there don't have locks unless you brought your own, which we didn't so I then began opening and closing lockers until I found an empty one to put our clothes in. This is where a smart person would have at least looked at the locker number. Oh but not me, nope- just tossed them in and was on my merry way out to the pool. Not even considering later I'd have to relocate my clothing. Oblivious, I am simply oblivious!
We head out, have a great time swimming. Lucy has to go potty. I take her into the door marked Woman's Locker Room. Hmmm, I don't remember that shower being there? That is weird. I must have not been paying attention as we walked out.... twice, TWICE I took her and thought the hallway felt strangely new.
So then it is time to go. My friend is still rounding her family up so I head into the Woman's Locker Room with my daughter who is crying because she doesn't want to go. I'm just dragging her along. While I am walking in to the locker room I suddenly recall that I have to remember where our clothes are. Great just great, why am I so flaky sometimes? How can I be so smart (because you know I am! lol) and yet so stupid all at the same time? So now I am consumed with the fact that I am going to have to just continualy open lockers until I find the one with our clothing. I do at least recall I had a top locker, not a bottom one. That is a start right?
Ok, so where is that row of lockers across from the changing rooms? How the heck can I not find it? Walk down the hall directly to it...it is pretty simple! Am I turning somewhere without realizing it? In this locker room there is the hall from the pool, past showers and bathroom stalls, then a loop of lockers. I keep walking around the loop, like some magic Harry Potterish corridor will suddenly emerge even though this loop is seriosuly only like 15 week long! I asked three, yes THREE people, "Where is the hall where the lockers are across for the changing rooms?" Does anyone know- nope. Lucy is still crying, it has been about 5 mins of me wandering around a relatively small locker room. How am I this stupid?
Great, just great. I can just see it now, "Um excuse me Mr. Life Guard can you please tell me how to find my clothes?" I'd be like the idiot having to be drove around a parking ramp to find her car. What am i going to do? Brad is so making fun of me when I go out there in my swim suit defeated by a locker room loop!
Then finally after far too long, it hits me! There is a FAMILY locker room. I was in the family one earlier!!! As I am walking in the correct door I then remember we came out of that middle door. Ah, this hallway looks familiar. Oh look, there are little boys in here... now that no naked people sign makes more sense! Oh here is the row of lockers across from the dressing rooms! Oh dang it, where are my clothes?!
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